Page 4 - TheWord#16

Where is the Nhs?
4 February 2017. POLITICS AND EVENTS www.thewordmedia.org.uk

Asks Ian Charles And there we have the big dif-
ference between doctors and nurs-
t your dentist’s, you fill in es: nurses treat you and doctors
a form saying you are a tell them how; by diagnosis and
‘NHS’ patient. This means prescription, except at the Walk
Ayou pay one of three in Centre, where a nurse, whom
charges (bands) and the rest of the you think is a doctor because they
cost is made up by the government never say Who or What they are,
out of taxation. Your dentist is a rushes you in, hurries you out and
business. sends you away with a ‘script’ be-
When my Health Centre (a cause these people are authorised
business housing GPs, nurses, to ‘write them up’ for you.
Health Professionals, their practice My experience, and do tell me
manager, and some other staff, and I’m wrong and then you can deal
which can be set up with ‘govern- with the aftermath of these deci-
ment help’) is closed for training, sions for me, is that these specially
for the evening, weekends, bank trained nurses seem to have around
holidays and so on, phone calls are three ‘Specialisms’ and start seeing
fielded to a ‘Walk-In Centre’ which all patients as sufferers of one of the
covers for them. This is ‘Nurse-Led’ limited conditions they’ve taken
and supervised by just one doctor, responsibility for. Thus my family
a Practice Manager, and adminis- have been sent away with diag-
trated by receptionists. noses and medicines for: asthma,
I know about nurses, doesn’t backache, depression, irritable bow-
everybody? The word is synony- el syndrome, and muscle strain.
mous with Angels, Healers, Dogs- These ‘Doctor-Nurses’ as the
bodies, Unsung Heroes and (usu- proud mother of one of them
ally) Heroines of the NHS. There describes her have thus missed:
are Practice Nurses (No! I want a bacterial sinusitis, perforated ap- that no proper examination was
Real One!) Mental Health Nurses, pendix, infection of the inner ear, carried out, that data such as tem-
Health Visitors and District Nurs- osteoporosis, sepsis and thrombo- perature, blood pressure, do not
es. There are Midwives and School sis. Scared yet? appear to have been stored on the
Nurses, Children’s Nurses and Geri- The comedian Michael McIn- system, that you weren’t advised
atric Nurses. Have I missed anyone tyre has a routine where his GP, to go to A&E should the symptoms
out? There are also Healthcare As- baffled by any number of things, persist, that training and oversight
sistants who do things that Nurses constantly ‘refers’ him to special- has been completely overhauled as
are too busy to do, like routinely ists: leg doctors, bum doctors, ear a result of your letter, that it is com-
taking blood. But the tradition has doctors, until one day he tells the pletely unacceptable you’ve wait-
been that Nurses make you bet- doctor he has a headache. ed so long for a reply, and the com-
ter, listen to you, tell you off and “Ah,” replies the GP, “I know the plaint has been passed through
tuck you in. They hold the spoon answer to this one – Paracetamol!” many hands until it got to the GP,
that tips the medicine down your The reverse is true of “Doc- the solitary, totally responsible GP,
throat. They twiddle the taps on tor-Nurses” and now some GPs acting for this Private Healthcare
the drip that carries the liquid I’m coming across; they ‘know’ Company, ‘Nurse Led’ but man-
medicines, the salty water, potions everything, and you aren’t referred aged by an accountant; the staff
that flow directly into your veins anywhere if they can help it; a com- policy now is to greet patients with
through the cannula inserted for bination of arrogance, not listen- the phrase “Hello, my name is …”
the delivery or removal of fluid. ing, and penny pinching. thin-air so they can extract a ‘mon- being ‘over here’ and called a ‘par- and explain what it is will be hap-
The correct response when being So you stagger-out of the Walk- ey-flow’ from the NHS Trust for asite’ and you decide to complain pening to you and why. So that’s
cannulated is to say, “Remarkable; in Centre and three days later are the next 25 years, and your life is to some Practice Manager about OK now, then.
could you give me John Smith’s in- fighting for your life in the Inten- saved by some kids from all over the crazily wrong ‘diagnosis’ you Half of all care under the NHS
travenously, then?” sive Care Unit of some big hospital, the planet, highly trained immi- got initially. You receive a letter of comes from ‘private providers’ – I
You will be told, “If Doctor pre- built and equipped with money grants who will go home on the apology ‘from the company’ ex- understood this when I had my
scribes it.” totally ‘invented’ by a bank out of train and be abused by a drunk for plaining that your points are valid, thyroid scanned by a friendly