Page 10 - #LoveWarrior

I remember it like it was yesterday: the day my mom and I sold our last piece of furniture for gas money. The boxes
seemed to know the road that was ahead of us, swaying back and forth, back and forth as we continued up the
mountain. Our friends had given us a cabin on their property in which to stay. Beyond grateful for their love as they
opened up their home to us, we quickly found the limits of the dwelling. With no hot water, no bathroom, and caved
in ceilings, resulting in spider infestation, I now call this cabin my training arena. After months of demoralization
through taking sponge showers, washing my hair in the laundry room sink, running next door at all hours of the
night to use the restroom, rejected by my own family, and repeatedly ridiculed for our circumstances, I was
powerless. I had no strength left in me.

Raised by a strong, single Christian mother, I had witnessed my mom reading the Bible daily, worshiping the Lord,
and continuing to seek Him even in our time of heartache. Now, my second experience with the Lord found me in
this small country town, unsure of what to do next. I wanted so badly to help our situation; to find a solution. But all
I could do was act out what I had seen my mom do — seek the Lord. So that’s exactly what I did. It was a beautiful
spring morning, and I decided to go for a walk around the six hundred acres that surrounded the ranch in which we
were staying. Even during a time where I was going through such agony, I can still remember how breathtaking the
scenery was as I walked. The air smelled fresh, the plants surrounding me still carried the dew from the night before,
and the rocks glowed with the colors of the sunrise. Even the mountains seemed happy.

I wish I could say my spirit shared the same radiance. Lost, broken, and insecure, I fell to my knees before the feet
of God. I cried out to Him. I knew I could not survive any longer on my own. Giving Him control of my life, my
heart, and my mind, I felt Him lift me up off the ground – found, healed, and safe. I felt reborn.

Two of my favorite scripture passages speak of this:

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give
you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you
will find me” (Jeremiah 29:11-13 NLT).

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over
you” (Psalm 32:8 NLT).

It was after feeling His presence that day that I realized how alive these passages really are. I walked forward from
that day in a completely different state of mind. With a spirit of power and a sound mind after feeling His presence,
knew that He had created a plan for me and that my life was in better hands than even my own. I desired a heart of
resiliency, a heart of courage and righteousness.

From that season, and the numerous ones that would follow, I would witness miracle after miracle: a man on his
deathbed healed in part because of the prayers I had been a part of, the oppressive chains broken off another man,
provision after provision, promise after promise fulfilled and updated lenses to the glasses I saw life through as a
result of each new encounter with the Lord. Yet, the financial pressures of this life and my own ambition drove me
further and further away from these daily experiences. I saw my schedule fill up with meeting after meeting, day
after day. A demanding, continuous, never-sleeping career in the event industry led me down a path where time
alone with my Savior was only a distant memory. Two solid years went by, and I couldn't even tell you the last time
I had been in a space where I could just sit in His presence, totally quiet, totally alone. Unrecognizable to all that I
wanted for myself, it was at the end of these two consistent, go-go-go years where I finally said enough is enough, I
need a timeout. I felt the call to finish my degree in Business and Marketing at a Christian University, where I could
continue my personal development as a contributor to society while resting in the Lord's presence. Thankfully, I was
self-aware enough to see the situation for what it was — I had lost who I truly was called to be in the career I
thought I wanted. I had seen painful experience after painful experience in my own personal life weigh down my
already exhausted spirit. So, less than five months later, I was on a plane traveling 3,000 miles away to my new
"home." A place where I literally knew not one person. I look back now (almost three years later) and laugh as I
remember not even knowing how I would get from the airport to the school dorms. I left everything behind. My
entire life; my established title as a "Wedding and Event Planner," my vehicle, all my personal belongs, and —
everyone I knew and loved. Needless to say, spending my entire life on the West Coast in sunny San Diego, then

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