Page 9 - #LoveWarrior

Chapter One
Life Resume

Our childhood contains crucial, behind-the-scenes footage in our heart. This footage reveals the context behind the
insecurities we carry, the biases we hold, and the traumatic experiences that are sure to affect our decision making. It
can all be traced back to the degree of stability we had in our home: the number of parents and siblings, the family
finances, the mental and physical health of the family, and the list goes on. It is difficult (but not entirely impossible)
to establish healthy habits in an environment where growth is not supported. This is where our standards for life are
established; relationally, financially, ethically and otherwise. Without knowing it, a foundation has been laid.

However, as an adult, we must decide what remains and what is left behind.

With strength and hard work, we have the control to decide the quality of the life we live. Regardless of the
circumstances we were born into, we have the power to walk forward in a spirit of love and sound mind (2 Timothy
1:7).

My Testimony

If you've lived in San Diego for longer than six months, you've noticed a pattern of the spectacular Sunday’s. An
already sunny, glorious part of the Country, the Sunday's here always seem to be a perfect temperature; not too hot,
not too cold. Even if the week before was a scorching temperature or a stormy one, that Sunday seems to belong in a
different week. At ten years old, this was one of those perfect San Diego Sunday's.

I was attending a Church service with my Dad and new stepmom. In a small Church, unfamiliar to me I was inspired
by the Pastor's sermon. He seemed to have such an understanding of the Lord's heart while expressing such joy in
his discoveries with Jesus. He openly spoke on how some were harder to grasp than others, yet he never swayed
from his platform of ultimate trust in this supernatural God. Having been around the Church since I was born, I was
familiar with this power in the heavens, but not even remotely aware of all that this pastor was speaking on. As a
matter of fact, I had experienced more division and turmoil in the faith already at age ten than most people see in a
lifetime.

Coming from both sides of my family, the legalism, misunderstanding, and ungrace ran ramped. My Grandfather on
my Mother's side, a man very influential in my joyous childhood memories, was a pastor. However, as my mom
puts it, "He did not receive the healing of the Holy Spirit required for successful ministry, nor did he have the
fellowship of Holy Spirit filled believers surrounding and supporting one another. The roots of jealousy, envy,
bitterness, and resentment were never uprooted and healed, so he tried to soothe himself in other destructive
behaviors." After conversing with her on this subject and how I forget he did not live in a day and age where the
Church really understood being Spirit-filled, she continues, "Correct. It was a lonely time for him and all he felt
from my mom, your grandmother, was skeptical criticism." Surrounded by legalistic believers, he was very rarely
around those who were born again, let alone spirit filled. Because of this, the last two generations on my mom's side
have sat in division and turmoil. On my dad's side of the family, doctrine was chased. They chased after the law
versus people. In part, this is because of their cult-founded faith versus true understanding in the Heart of God and
His Son. Now, I have witnessed the last two generations on my dad's side sit in a lack of true joy and freedom in
their relationship with our Savior.

Even at the young age of ten, I recognized a disconnect from God (a true relationship with Him) and both sides of
my family. So, it doesn’t surprise me that at the end of this pastor’s joyous sermon, I went forward to receive Jesus
in my own life.

Then, six years later, a storm hit my life. At the very beginning of the recession, toward the end of 2007, my mom
and I were homeless. With a past full of domestic violence, my mom and I had survived much harder circumstances
than this, but our money had run out, and we no longer could afford rent anywhere. Stripped of all material items,
we found a place to stay in the mountains of San Diego.

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