Page 277 - Under the Cover of Darkness

take my hat off for bed . . . . . won’t I?

17 May 2014 —
Ah hearing the kids outside mine is so funny. Just heard
one say? "My Aunties been staying with us?" To which
the other kids immediately responded "What did she
bring you?!" Yep. That’s what Aunties are for. Bringing
you stuff. (I sometimes get eBay & Amazon wish lists
and requests for my credit card details from my nephews.

18 May 2014 —
I must have fallen asleep around 8pm - fully dressed on
top of the bed and just woken up disoriented and with
the most horrible feeling of sadness and a sinking sense
of being utterly alone.
I’ve had a really weird few days of feeling anxious, really
worried and paranoid and nervous and then getting really
depressed. I get really isolated when my fibromyalgia is
too bad for me to get up n go out. I start feeling lonely
and isolated and frustrated. Sometimes I wish someone
would come round n help me get up n get me shoes on n
get down the stairs n out of the flat! I might let my hair
down out of the window and see if a handsome prince
climbs up it!

19 May 2014 —
Stephen Fry “Choking with dry tears and raging, raging,
raging at the absolute indifference of nature and the
world to the death of love, the death of hope and the
death of beauty, I remember sitting on the end of my
bed, collecting these pills and capsules together and
wondering why, why when I felt I had so much to offer,