Page 180 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

“By ‘Physical Touch,’ what do you mean?”
“Well, mainly sex,” Bob replied.
I probed a little further, asking, “Do you enjoy your wife
running her hands through your hair, or giving you a back
rub, or holding hands, or kissing and hugging you at times
when you are not having sexual intercourse?”
“Those things are fine,” said Bob. “I am not going to
turn them down, but the main thing is sexual intercourse.
That’s when I know that she really loves me.”
Leaving the subject of physical touch for a moment, I
turned to affirming words and asked, “When you say that
‘Words of Affirmation’ are also important, what kinds of
statements do you find most helpful?”
“Almost anything if it is positive,” Bob replied. “When
she tells me how good I look, how smart I am, what a hard
worker I am, when she expresses appreciation for the
things I do around the house, when she makes positive
comments about my taking time with the children, when she
tells me she loves me—all of those things really mean a lot
to me.”
“Did you receive those kinds of comments from your
parents when you were growing up?”
“Not very often,” Bob said. “Most of what I got from my
parents were critical or demanding words. I guess that’s
why I appreciated Carol so much in the first place, because
she gave me words of affirmation.”
“Let me ask you this. If Carol were meeting your sexual
needs, that is, if you were having quality sexual intercourse