Page 182 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

Most sexual problems in marriage have little to do with
physical technique but everything to do with meeting
emotional needs.

For the female, sexual desire is rooted in her
emotions, not her physiology. There is nothing physically
that builds up and pushes her to have intercourse. Her
desire is emotionally based. If she feels loved and admired
and appreciated by her husband, then she has a desire to
be physically intimate with him. But without the emotional
closeness she may have little physical desire.
Because the male is physically pushed to have sexual
release on a somewhat regular basis, he may automatically
assume that that is his primary love language. But if he
does not enjoy physical touch at other times and in
nonsexual ways, it may not be his love language at all.
Sexual desire is quite different from his emotional need to
feel loved. That doesn’t mean that sexual intercourse is
unimportant to him—it is extremely important—but sexual
intercourse alone will not meet his need to feel loved. His
wife must speak his primary emotional love language as
well.
When, in fact, his wife speaks his primary love
language and his emotional love tank is full, and he speaks
her primary love language and her emotional tank is full, the
sexual aspect of their relationship will take care of itself.
Most sexual problems in marriage have little to do with