Page 89 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

a relationship, not a project to be completed or a problem
to solve. A relationship calls for sympathetic listening with a
view to understanding the other person’s thoughts, feelings,
and desires. We must be willing to give advice but only
when it is requested and never in a condescending
manner. Most of us have little training in listening. We are
far more efficient in thinking and speaking. Learning to
listen may be as difficult as learning a foreign language, but
learn we must, if we want to communicate love. That is
especially true if your spouse’s primary love language is
quality time and his or her dialect is quality conversation.
Fortunately, numerous books and articles have been written
on developing the art of listening. I will not seek to repeat
what is written elsewhere but suggest the following
summary of practical tips.

1 . Maintain eye contact when your spouse is
talking. That keeps your mind from wandering and
communicates that he/she has your full attention.
2 . Don’t listen to your spouse and do something
else at the same time. Remember, quality time is
giving someone your undivided attention. If you are
watching, reading, or doing something else in which
you are keenly interested and cannot turn from
immediately, tell your spouse the truth. A positive
approach might be, “I know you are trying to talk to me
and I’m interested, but I want to give you my full