Page 92 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

that expressing angry feelings is not appropriate. If the child
was made to feel guilty for expressing disappointment at
not being able to go to the store with his father, he learned
to hold his disappointment inside. By the time we reach
adulthood, many of us have learned to deny our feelings.
We are no longer in touch with our emotional selves.
A wife says to her husband, “How did you feel about
what Don did?” And the husband responds, “I think he was
wrong. He should have—” but he is not telling her his
feelings. He is voicing his thoughts. Perhaps he has reason
to feel angry, hurt, or disappointed, but he has lived so long
in the world of thought that he does not acknowledge his
feelings. When he decides to learn the language of quality
conversation, it will be like learning a foreign language. The
place to begin is by getting in touch with his feelings,
becoming aware that he is an emotional creature in spite of
the fact that he has denied that part of his life.
If you need to learn the language of quality
conversation, begin by noting the emotions you feel away
from home. Carry a small notepad and keep it with you
daily. Three times each day, ask yourself, “What emotions
have I felt in the last three hours? What did I feel on the way
to work when the driver behind me was riding my bumper?
What did I feel when I stopped at the gas station and the
automatic pump did not shut off and the side of the car was
covered with gas? What did I feel when I got to the office
and found that my secretary had been assigned to a
special work project for the morning? What did I feel when