Page 90 - The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts

attention. I can’t do that right now, but if you will give
me ten minutes to finish this, I’ll sit down and listen to
you.” Most spouses will respect such a request.
3. Listen for feelings. Ask yourself, “What emotion is
my spouse experiencing?” When you think you have
the answer, confirm it. For example, “It sounds to me
like you are feeling disappointed because I forgot
__________.” That gives him the chance to clarify his
feelings. It also communicates that you are listening
intently to what he is saying.

4 . Observe body language. Clenched fists,
trembling hands, tears, furrowed brows, and eye
movement may give you clues as to what the other is
feeling. Sometimes body language speaks one
message while words speak another. Ask for
clarification to make sure you know what she is really
thinking and feeling.

5 . Refuse to interrupt. Recent research has
indicated that the average individual listens for only
seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting
his own ideas. If I give you my undivided attention while
you are talking, I will refrain from defending myself or
hurling accusations at you or dogmatically stating my
position. My goal is to discover your thoughts and
feelings. My objective is not to defend myself or to set