Page 21 - Kingdom News Edition 7

mask to be removed and we were doing all we
could to make a happy home, but something just
wasn’t right. Little did I know, he would become
one that physically, mentally and sexually abused
me. We were married for ten years, but during this
ten years I endured so many levels of torment that
included being beat regularly, sodomized, having
my ribs cracked, extra marital affairs and
more. He took the money for the house and blew it
on women and partying. Did I mention he was also
an alcoholic? Despite all the issues in my marriage,
I stayed and this marriage produced two more chil-
dren.
One night I had all
I could take – no
heat, no food, no
lights, and I had
my babies bundled
up together to stay
warm. I went into
the other room and
just I broke down and asked God to help my chil-
dren. I didn't feel that I mattered, but I knew my
children did not ask for this. God moved quickly
on our behalf. In less than three days; we had a
new place in another town. God had all of us cov-
ered. I finally had a place to be safe, my kids were
in a school, but I was still messed up internally and
really didn't understand what I needed to come out
of this place of being damaged. I knew I couldn’t
do it on my own.
Soon after, I began going to church and I began
seeking God. There was something missing in my
life and I felt empty, alone and lost. In 1991, I met
another guy who had a son. We seem to hit it off
OK. He was a minister and I was learning God
and His Word. We married in 1992 and this truly
was the turning point of my life. Everything
seemed OK, but due to all I went through I had
gained a lot of weight. But I continued to be the
best mother, wife and stepmom I could. I was
working through my issues and then my husband
began to publicly humiliate and embarrass me by
putting me down around everybody in the church.
My self-esteem again was challenged and much of
the healing that had taken place, surfaced again,
but this time was different and I had a better under-
standing of who I truly was.
I began to seek God and continually asked God to
use me. I saw how other women were speaking and
ministering to others. I wanted that so badly. I be-
gan to pray and seek the face of God. The Lord
Kingdom News Magazine—March 2018 Volume 7 ~ Page 21
said he couldn't use me
in the shape that I was
in. I began to read Ro-
mans 12, and it was the
beginning of my mis-
sion for God’s king-
dom. As I began to
study the Word, fast,
pray, and seek His face;
everything was coming
into place. Due to the
manipulative ways of my husband making people
believed his lies, many people thought that I was a
terrible person. However, that did not stop me
from moving out in what God had me to do.
After 21 years of marriage, I filed for divorce from
this man and am now living a new life. Living a
life where I have freedom to worship the Lord
how He desires me to worship Him. In 1999, God
gave me the vision for Damaged but not De-
stroyed. One of the foundational scripture for this
ministry is 2 Corinthians 4:78-9, “We are troubled
on every side, yet not distressed; we are per-
plexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not for-
saken; cast down, but not destroyed…”
The Lord released me to begin telling my story,
giving a very detailed account of the things I had
been through. The purpose for the release was so
that I could help others, both women and men to
overcome these secret scars that so many suffer
from and keep hidden. It’s time to deal with our
secret scars.
As I began to deal with
my secret scars, it was re-
vealed to me that my hus-
band had sexually abused
my daughter. This affect-
ed me in a way that
seemed worse than the
things I endured because it
was my daughter, I felt
that I failed to keep her safe. Now I am not only
rebuilding my life but being a support system for
her as well. I vowed to help any person that has
gone through any type of abuse. I want them to
know: there is life after abuse, the devil may have
tried to damage their lives, but their lives are not
destroyed.