Page 32 - Changing Lesson

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So now it is my choice how I will experience my day. Do I choose to join with the ego mind or the
One Mind of the Holy Spirit? My day will go as I choose.

Belief in the cruelty of God is pervasive in this world. It is one of the key concepts the Course is
helping us undo. Belief in the cruelty of God is the basis and justification for all our attacks on our
brothers in any form. Today's lesson is showing us that this cruel god is of our own making. It is the
inevitable projection of a mind that believes separation is real. Belief in this cruel god leaves us
without a refuge to turn to for peace, comfort and healing. It fosters hopelessness because with no
safe refuge, what hope could there be for release from the hell we believe we are in?

Only as I learn to accept that there is no cruelty in God and none in me does there begin to be hope
that there is a possibility for a way out. Gradually hope changes to faith and confidence as we let go
of the mistaken idea that God sees us the way we see ourselves. He sees us as Himself — Love and
nothing else. Of that He is perfectly confident, for He knows we are one with Him. We are His only
Son.

The pain and suffering we blame on Him comes only from our own mistaken mind that believes in
what could never be, that ideas do leave their source. Throughout the Course we are told again and
again that this could never be true. From many different angles He points us to the truth that we
remain one with Him as He created us.

Reassuring us that there is no cruelty in God and none in us helps neutralize the fear with which we
resist God's loving care. We only resist His Love because we believe that to accept His Love will bring
pain. We believe we will have to sacrifice something that we treasure. Yet all that is being asked of
us is that we give up the very idea that is the source of all our pain, fear, guilt and the perception of
death. Remembering that there is no cruelty in God opens the door for me to see Him as Friend
instead of enemy. He becomes my safe Haven, my comfort and my Home. Today I would remember
there is no cruelty in God and none in me.

I am becoming more and more sensitive to the effects of living in a world of attack and fear. This is
very uncomfortable, but necessary if I am ever to be motivated to change. I have read this lesson
before but it wasn't until today that I have begun to truly understand the consequences of fear and
attack.

As realization began creeping into my mind, I asked Holy Spirit for an example in my own life.
Immediately, a person came to mind. For the first time I saw how terribly destructive to myself (and
by extension to the rest of the Son ship) my enmity toward this person is. I saw in a whole new way
that it is essential I give up attack as defense. I saw how insane the whole concept is and how it
contributes to my belief that I am separate.

And still, the idea of giving up all defense and attack is scary. I guess that I do not totally believe
what my heart is telling me. I am reminded of Lesson 165. It says that God is fair and sureness is not
required and tells me to ask with desire.

I feel like someone dangling by a slippery rope. I am afraid that my new understanding of attack and
it's consequences is not sure enough to stay with me and I will slip and fall back into my life as it has

Lessons by Marlyn Marval Feb 23th thru April 9th 2015