Page 14 - Demo

www.i-am-magazine.com14The good news is that there%u2019s somethingmore to this term than being a caring,good-natured person. It has very little todo with being caring and good-natured inthe healthy sense. It actually has a lot todo with your self-esteem.See, a nice guy or nice girl means a personwho doesn%u2019t think much of themselves.They see themselves as less than theirpartner. They see their partner as a prizeand themselves as, well%u2026 less than a prize.They put their partner on a pedestal, andthemselves as second best. They believethey could only feel (or at least at a halfdecent level feel) the need for love &connection if the other person gives it tothem.They%u2019ve been conditioned somewhere intheir lives to think that to get love &connection from someone they care about,they have to put their partners%u2019 needs first,and their own last.The subconscious belief says %u201cif I put yourneeds first and act exactly how you wouldlike me to act, then you%u2019ll give me love &connection, or at least attention, or atleast something!%u201d.With this people-pleasing pattern, theperson HAS TO put aside who they areas a person to get their need for love &connection met by the other person.They%u2019re a prisoner to the desire of theother person.We will lie, cheat, steal and go againstour morals & values to meet our needs.If we feel we can%u2019t connect withourselves, we still need to feel love &connection. So what do we do?Whatever it takes to get it. And if you%u2019vehad an experience with someone whoselove you craved and didn%u2019t get, oneresponse is to people-please. Again,either to get love & connection or atleast not lose it. Even if it%u2019s at a low levelyou%u2019ll do it because a bit of love &connection is better than none at all,right?