Page 405 - Cam General 15-16-17-18-19

Sample Writing answers

TEST 4, WRITING TASK 1

This model has been prepared by an examiner as an example of a ve叩 good answer.

De.a「 Mi karim,
Toan\::. ~ou V叫 much again fo「 Sιndin9 mιon the. Wor\cplaιe. 'Safi内 ιouriι. It wai valuable. t「ainin9
and I now foe.I a lot morιιonfide.nt that I \::.now how to p「巳vent allide.nti in the. facto~. W巳 ιov巳「巳d
pointf> iuιh ai iafo 纣0「age., 1Ce.e.pin9 aιιιii waif> dιar and firιiafo叫·
lιan rιpo叶 that I hav巳 airιadi L』ie.d thιi\ci\\i I learnιd; when I notiι巳d f>Omιιablιi that w巳「巳 a
trip haz.ard and alio a lar9ιbin that wai pa忖1alli bloι\cin9 th巴巴在it, I wai able. to ide.nti句 and fry_
thoiιpro blιmi itrai9ht awai.

I undιr甘and that e.mploie.e.i who itartιd wor\cin9 with ui thii ie.a「 havιalre.adi 「巳ιe.ivιd thif>
f「ainin9 ai pa忖 of thιi「 oriιntation b川 fo「 thoie. who hav巳 b巴巴n h巳「巳 long肘， it would bιa good
oppo忖uni叫 to 「e.f1「巳ih and add to their \cnowlιd9e..
It ii a we.II －「unιOUrf>巳 that ii w叫阿le.vant to our wor\cplaιe. and I am 9ratιful for 什1e. oppo叶uni叫

Mani than\ci

Here are comments from another examiner:

This is a good response to the task: it addresses all three bullet points, uses a
suitable tone to communicate with an employer and is presented in the correct
letter format. There is clear progression throughout the letter, but there could be
more evidence to justify why the course might not be suitable for colleagues (the
final bullet point). There are some effective cohesive devices [that I those who], but
a wider range of linking expressions than [and I but] would improve the final rating.

Vocabula「y is used well, and there is some effective collocation [prevent accidents I
tr,伊 hazard I partially blocking]. Grammatical structures include simple and complex
examples [started working with us I have been here longer], but most of the letter is
in the past simple and past simple tenses.

To achieve the highest scores, the candidate would need to include a wider range
of cohesive devices and grammatical structures. They could improve the response
by providing further suggestions on why the course may not be suitable for other
colleagues. Overall, it is a good response.

138