Page 28 - flip book- How To Survive Baby Loss

How To Survive Baby Loss

If you are actively a danger to self or others, give trusted
adult access to any medications, weapons, razors, knives or ob-
jects so they can secure them for you and have a friend or family
member help you get into the emergency room or behavioral
health hospital for evaluation and further treatment. Depend-
ing on the intake assessment with the social worker, you could
be admitted three to seven days for your safety. There you could
have individual or group counseling and see an attending doc-
tor who can start you on medications if needed.

Focus on communicating your wants and needs. The goal is
your well-being, safety, and healing. It will take time, but you
will get to a better place. Often it takes time to heal, although
time itself does not heal anything, it’s often what you do with
the time.

The Stages of Grief

The common stages of grief: denial, bargaining, anger, depres-
sion, and acceptance are a framework from Elizabeth Kübler-
Ross and David Kessler, On Grief and Grieving. Your feelings
vacillate from these stages. Let’s take a look at each of them.

Denial: When you first learn of a loss, it’s normal to think,
“This cannot be happening.” You experience a shock or numb
feeling. It is actually God’s gift to temporarily cope with a rush
of emotion that can be overwhelming. Think of it as a defense
mechanism. This stage does not want to believe the trauma
happened.
Anger: This secondary emotion is due to a deep hurt and
pain. When we become angry, as we continue with the reality
that we can not control or change, there may be feelings of help-
lessness as you face your loss. Be aware, you might direct anger
toward other people, God, a higher power, or life in general.

In your numbness or anger, you may be tempted to suppress
thoughts of your child to manage the pain, but don’t do it. The
thing is, you cannot suppress and heal at the same time. Face
that your baby or child loss is a part of your world now, and
make the goal to include him or her in your present and future.

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