Page 98 - REACHING ALWAYS FOR MY SECOND ELEMENT

It can be overwhelming, living with shadows at times. I want to reach out and grab on and pray it does not slip away.
Small sounds that sharpen memories past. My Joyselyn is moving through the house. I might hear the neighbor lady’s

voice, and just for that moment, it was that of my Joyselyn's. I woke up to the smell of someone baking cinnamon rolls

yesterday. Oh, how my heart did leap. A lonely heart it will be without her filling in all the blank spaces.

Aug. 17, 2020

05:20 AM. Saturday, September 5, 2020. SHABBAT SHALOM

Shabbat Shalom, my love! Something always said in our awakening hours on Shabbat days. I will forever miss these
Holydays, Joyselyn and I spent together. This is not life as I have known it. Looking back on these past eight months,

realizing that I’m no more than an empty shell. It is so hard to place one foot in front of the other. When I do, I realize

they have no place to go, no arms in wait for their arrival. Joyselyn was the light that dwelt within me. Until now, I had
no idea how weak of a person I had become. Joyselyn was the spine I should have had. The backbone I know I need

today to make it through. I am so in need. Need to be filled with The Father’s love. Major open-heart surgery on this
empty, broken heart. I can only pray that His Holy Spirit be my Cardiologist.

Sept. 5, 2020

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