Page 96 - REACHING ALWAYS FOR MY SECOND ELEMENT

I know if my Joyselyn could speak, she would be warning me about all my time being spent grieving her. My continuing

love for her in my writings would most likely also concern her. She would tell me to let her go and give my grieving

heart to the Father. To love Him more than I have ever loved her. She would insist that I do this in remembrance of our
love shared. I find it so hard to do. While she lived, her goal was prayerfully and propitiously to guide me to that place.

I never remember when I did not trust her words or any other spirit-filled concerns she may have had. My heart knows
this to be true, but I have not had my fill of Joyselyn yet. Crazy as it sounds, I sometimes do not know where I begin, or

my Joyselyn ends. I cried out to Adonai when my Joyselyn was taken. I begged her not to go. I now realize that so much
of that request was granted by the love she left behind. The warehouse overflows with her passion left in my heart.

Aug. 3, 2020

Oh, how I wish I had done things so differently. So much more I could have, so much more of my time just sitting
with her, listening to her words. Praying and studying Yahuwah’s word together. I often went through the motions

but let her be my spiritual crutch. Oh, how unmanly of me. What a woman she was, stronger than anyone I have ever
known. How stupid of me not to have walked and grown spiritually with her. So many of life’s lessons are missed,

and only I have to blame.

Aug. 7, 2020

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