Page 106 - Failure to Triumph - Journey of A Student

keeps his wife in complete control, and whenever she says ‘no’ to
anything, he threatens her by saying that she can leave his house.
The husband behaves in such a way because he knows that his wife

has no other option; she is completely dependent on him, she does
not earn money, she is not self-dependent and she cannot go
anywhere and live a life of her own; she will have to bow down to
him. When a girl is dependent on somebody it becomes easy to
control her, and that is what everybody wants. But you have to live
your life on your own terms. If there is someone who does not
believe in your dreams and abilities then you should not expect
anything from him or her. You must not think that you are helpless.

You do not have to beg anyone for their support, after all, how many
people are you going to beg to? You do not have to look for
sympathy from others—only the strongest of the people command
respect. No self-respecting girl would want to depend on her
husband or on her father for her small little needs; you have to live

that kind of life in which nobody can force their decision on you. You
decide for yourself. You take charge of your life.

In Indian society, the practice of putting fetters on a girl’s ankle and
her dreams starts very early. From her childhood only, people start
dictating- how she has to carry herself, what she has to wear, what
she does not have to wear, how to behave with people, which games

to play and also whom to meet and not to meet. These things are
described to her in such a way that she is made to believe that if she
will not do as told to her then she would be committing a big sin. She
is admonished for every small mistake and she is advised not to
cross the boundaries that men have set for her. If she is not ready to
listen to anyone, she is threatened in many different ways—in other

words she is made to accept the dominance of men.

It is a sad fact that women are not only suppressed and restricted by
men but also by other women. Many a time, women in families
instruct men on how to control girls. It also happens so that a girl's
mother, or aunt, or her sister-in-law is not comfortable with the fact
that the girl is allowed to take her own decisions.