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Bitchin & Moaning

SIGNS women piled out of the car and into
the bathroom. I guess we’d spent all
our money in Vegas because no one
had a dime, so we had to get change.
of Our Time Meanwhile, my feisty friend said she
was just going to crawl under while
my Mom cussed at the closed doors.
My mother’s cursing consisted of
By Guest Columnist Sharon Hightower “darn” and “hell and damnation,” so
when she said “damn,” I about peed
my pants. The sign? It read insert $.10.
HILE DRIVING HOME THIS them to the ocean less than a block And that story reminds me of
Wmorning after dropping off my away? Really? another road trip when I was about
grandson at school, I saw a sign on my The other sign was scary. It read seven. We were going east this time
street that I’d noticed some weeks ago. TSUNAMI route. I'm sure it didn't and had gotten out to stretch our legs
It reads New Residential Homes with mean that's where the tsunami would somewhere outside of Albuquerque,
an arrow underneath. And I’m left go, but rather that is the way one New Mexico. And we were standing
wondering what other kind of homes should go in the event of a tidal wave. in a dirt area near the car, and my aunt
are there? I thought by definition or But the really scary thing is that I've apparently disturbed a hill of red ants
at least implication a home was a resi- only ever seen one sign. No further which quite quickly began crawling up
dence. Am I confused here? Residen- direction. It's like those detour signs her legs. I may never forget her jump-
tial Home. Well, ok. that take you off your familiar route, ing around, yelling "my privates, my
Signs often amuse me. Or but don't tell you where to go nor how privates." Sign? No there was no sign,
maybe they just confuse me. to get back on the street from which but perhaps there should have been.
At the end of our street where you were being detoured. I was in the hospital last
it intersects at a dead-end I work at Palomar College, and week – the pretty new one on
with a rather busy street, there are it has gotten into unisex bathrooms. the hill in Escondido – and
two-speed limit signs as you turn onto And the sign on the facility nearest as I prepared to leave I was
my street going west. The first is your my office reads "men, women, and following the exit signs having gotten
typical black and white speed limit shows a handicapped drawing." It's thoroughly lost in my visits first to
sign and reads 35 in big letters. OK. as if folks in a wheelchair are a third the lab and then the x-ray department
But not five feet away is another sign, gender. within- between stops in the exam-
the yellow kind of caution sign that ining area. A security gal must have
reads 20 mph and shows a very curvy read my face, and she pointed to a set
arrow cautioning that the road is of double doors. "The exit is through
indeed curved. And almost every time there," she said. And as I passed her,
I drive by I wonder: which is it? Can added, "It would help to have a sign
I drive 35 or do I need to go only 20? on the doors.” As I walked further on,
Help. Also, I wonder who put up the she remarked to the guard standing
signs. Was it CalTrans? Did they put on the other side of the hallway, that
up both? Is it a joke? Or maybe an in- when the hospital was first opened,
sider gag as most streets in Fallbrook I don't like the signs one often they objected to any signage. Hmmm?
are curved. sees inside public bathrooms that say There’s an interesting sign in the
When I lived in Oceanside, there employees must wash their hands be- laundromat that I use in town. It reads
were a couple of signs I really loved. fore returning to work. Gosh. I hope DO NOT put any person in this wash-
One shows a wave and above it the so. Especially if I’m in McDonald’s or er. Well darn. I thought I was going to
word BEACH with an arrow pointing Jack-in-the-Box; anywhere you eat. scrub up my husband. He works out-
up indicating straight ahead. And as Do you remember pay toilets? I side and is often so dirty I don’t like
you can almost see the water from the don’t see them anymore, but I re- him to come into the house.
sign’s location, it strikes me as funny. member returning from a long road Guess that plan is out.
Do people really need a sign pointing trip back from Vegas and all four

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