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6 – The Power of Appreciation
What Is Appreciation?
When we have gone through the process of increasing our awareness and then moved forward into the phase of acceptance, the next step toward experiencing
greater happiness is through sincere appreciation.
Traditionally we have been conditioned to understand appreciation as something we “must” do. Parents, family, teachers, in fact everyone we have human
contact with, program us through experience to be appreciative and grateful in life. It is human nature to resist when we feel forced to do anything, so as a
consequence, appreciation is all too often squeezed out of us rather than being expressed as the sincere and genuine feeling of gratitude.
Guilt is all too often used as a tool to engineer appreciation out of us, especially during our childhood years. “You take me for granted”, “You don’t appreciate
what I do for you”, “You don’t appreciate what you have” are all familiar expressions.
As a result, in the adult world, the power of sincere and genuine appreciation is all too often overlooked, and the power it contains to generate happiness is
missed.
The paradox is that because we have been conditioned to express appreciation, we have also been conditioned to expect it in return for our acts of kindness,
generosity, courtesy, care and love.
How do you feel when you have repeatedly shown acts of kindness or care and received no gratitude, appreciation, recognition or acknowledgement in return?
I would venture to suggest that you feel unappreciated.
When you're shouting “You don't appreciate a thing I do for you!” to your kids, what you mean is “You aren't grateful for what I do for you. You don't value
what I do for you. You don't see its worth, how meaningful or important this thing I do for you is.”
Previously, we’ve all experienced feeling unappreciated by employers, girlfriends, boyfriends, family members, spouses, friends, lovers, colleagues, in fact
just about anybody you have ever come into contact with. You feel that what you're offering isn't valued by the person you're offering it to, and therefore they
aren't grateful for it.
What happens when you do feel appreciated? Your spirits are lifted! You feel you are important and worthy, competent and happy. You have the same effect
on others when you show your appreciation.
The previous chapters have talked about self-awareness and acceptance. Bringing all we have learned up to this point, the clear pathway to happiness through Page258
appreciation is simple, and similar to an expression you will find in the relationships chapter later.