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5 – How Did I Get Here ?

A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life. James Allen ~ 1864-1912, British-born American
Essayist, Author of ''As a Man Thinketh''

In this complicated process of living, there comes a time when we look around at where we are in life and it looks nothing like what we expected. We remember
where we wanted to be by this time of our lives in our relationships, our work and our achievements, but somehow we got lost on our path to happiness.

The information and exercises contained in this section will help you to dig more deeply into your inner self, getting ever closer to the authentic happier you.

We will be searching for significant turning points of pain and joy. The choices and decisions that had a long term positive or detrimental effect on your life
and behaviours, and the influences of significant people at various stages of your development, to arrive at the you that you know in this moment.

Let’s look how our character and personality developed.

Emotional Programming – Your Conditioning

It’s not by accident or luck that you have ended up the person you are now. Much of it is due to the emotional programming you experienced as you grew.
Your emotional programming is simply a set of beliefs you acquired about yourself, collecting experiences and influences, minute by minute from your parents,
peers, relatives, friends and society. For the rest of your life, these beliefs affect the way you think and behave. Until you identify the beliefs that are not
relevant to you personally, or no longer serve your best interests, your happiness through authenticity remains at the mercy of those beliefs.

In other words, your life experiences cause you to make decisions about yourself, your abilities, the thoughts you will have, the behaviours you will employ
and the choices you will make.

• Between birth and 5 years you receive 50% of your emotional programming
• Between 5 and 8 years you receive 30% of your emotional programming
• Between 8 and 18 years you receive 15% of your emotional programming

By the time you are eighteen, you are 95% programmed! It is the 5% remaining for the rest of your life that can be used to make worthwhile changes
in your life. As an example, whilst 5% of your mind says “I want a wonderful relationship with a partner that treats me well”, it is the 95% already
programmed that is responsible for the poor love choices you may have made in the past. It is only once you dig deep enough like this, to understand
why you have been doing what you have been doing that you will be free to change your life and behaviour for the better. Your unconscious mental Page74
programming is responsible for most of the pain you have experienced from decisions and choices you have made in the past.