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Now we can talk about how we can meet In other words, put myself in their shoes.
each other half way. We do not always Try to look at upsets or just requests
have to do things my way Trish. We can objectively from their perspective. What

take turns.” I told her, “How will I know did they feel when this took place? If you
what you’re upset about if you don’t are willing to communicate, it means

tell me? I love you and I want to know. you’re listening and they will know you
I want our partnership to work and if care. Communication is everything. I can’t
you can’t say it in the moment, will you repeat that enough.

please write it down?” By expressing my
feelings, I created a safe space for her to When she called me and told me the

communicate with me. I also told her I truth, we could meet each other half
was committed to our partnership and way. We began to know each other
she agreed that yes, she was committed much better. We learned to see and even

too. We agreed we would try harder to appreciate our differences.
get our emotions and egos out of our

way. By making this agreement, we were Committing to working things out and not
able to come up with ways that both go on the defensive is essential. If they do
of us could get our needs met. It didn’t ask for something and we ignore them or

happen overnight but as days went by, put them down for what they want, they’re
it got so much easier and comfortable not going to be willing to share much

between us. with us and slowly the relationship will
deteriorate. They start to disconnect from
Think about this. You want to be fair to the intimacy involved in being together

the other person and the word fair also because they were not taken seriously.
means equal. Equal means we are going

to share responsibilities and negotiate If we have resisted being open and
who’s going to be in charge, who’s going vulnerable when feeling discontent, our
to follow and who’s going to lead. A unconscious shadow or contra-sexual

relationship is always a dance. Keeping image, Anima or Animus will get even
track of that dance consciously is being for us without our knowing what is

willing to recognize and remember. Ok, happening. The psyche is a relatively
last time they gave in, they adjusted, they closed system of energy so just because we
listened to me. Tell yourself, “It’s my turn repress or suppress what we really felt in

to listen here, make a concession, take the moment, doesn’t mean it went away.
their ideas into consideration so that I can There’s a different energy in the room. You

understand where they’re coming from.” can actually feel it. It’s palpable.

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