Page 26 - May 2024
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Now we can talk about how we can meet  In other words, put myself in their shoes.
        each other half way. We do not always                  Try to look at upsets or just requests
        have to do things my way Trish. We can  objectively from their perspective. What

        take turns.” I told her, “How will I know  did they feel when this took place? If you
        what you’re upset about if you don’t                   are willing to communicate, it means

        tell me? I love you and I want to know.                you’re listening and they will know you
        I want our partnership to work and if                  care. Communication is everything. I can’t
        you can’t say it in the moment, will you               repeat that enough.

        please write it down?” By expressing my
        feelings, I created a safe space for her to  When she called me and told me the

        communicate with me. I also told her I                 truth, we could meet each other half
        was committed to our partnership and                   way. We began to know each other
        she agreed that yes, she was committed                 much better. We learned to see and even

        too. We agreed we would try harder to                  appreciate our differences.
        get our emotions and egos out of our

        way. By making this agreement, we were  Committing to working things out and not
        able to come up with ways that both                    go on the defensive is essential. If they do
        of us could get our needs met. It didn’t               ask for something and we ignore them or

        happen overnight but as days went by,                  put them down for what they want, they’re
        it got so much easier and comfortable                  not going to be willing to share much

        between us.                                            with us and slowly the relationship will
                                                               deteriorate. They start to disconnect from
        Think about this. You want to be fair to               the intimacy involved in being together

        the other person and the word fair also                because they were not taken seriously.
        means equal. Equal means we are going

        to share responsibilities and negotiate                If we have resisted being open and
        who’s going to be in charge, who’s going               vulnerable when feeling discontent, our
        to follow and who’s going to lead. A                   unconscious shadow or contra-sexual

        relationship is always a dance. Keeping                image, Anima or Animus will get even
        track of that dance consciously is being               for us without our knowing what is

        willing to recognize and remember. Ok,                 happening. The psyche is a relatively
        last time they gave in, they adjusted, they            closed system of energy so just because we
        listened to me. Tell yourself, “It’s my turn           repress or suppress what we really felt in

        to listen here, make a concession, take                the moment, doesn’t mean it went away.
        their ideas into consideration so that I can  There’s a different energy in the room. You

        understand where they’re coming from.”                 can actually feel it. It’s palpable.





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