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success. I find it difficult to not think of and develop in them a growth mind-
all the articles I have read about early set. Carl Dweck (2007) discusses the I believe that parents
predictors of success or my interactions importance of children understanding who are educators or
with other principals, teachers, and par- that intelligence is not fixed. We want
ents. When he was recommended this our sons to understand that their administrators need to
year for basic skills support in math, I brains grow stronger throughout their focus on what research
couldn’t help but think about how that lifetime and their brains will continue to shows develops chil-
would affect his future proficiency. I im- expand as they work them. By chang-
mediately thought back to his previous ing our conversations with our boys, dren into productive
math teachers — was their instruction we can help them move from a fixed members of society and
effective, was the curriculum meaning- mindset to one of growth. Instead of
ful and were formative and summative only asking them about their accom- not simply intelligence.
assessments used to provide him re- plishments in school, we are going to
mediation when needed? My wife, as a focus more on something new they the scheme of things, these are small
special education teacher, reacted very learned, mistakes they made which issues. We feel it is important for our
differently. She typically focuses more they learned from, what they tried their children to take on these challenges
on the emotional wellbeing of our sons. best at that day or a new strategy they now, head on, so they can learn now
When basic skills was recommended, learned in school (Dweck, 2007). This how to be resilient when challenges
she was happy that he would be receiv- will help our boys learn that talents arise. We want them to learn from their
ing extra help and was hopeful that and ability are achieved through ef- failures, develop a new plan and try
this would improve his confidence and fort and persistence and not innately again. There is no better feeling than
in effect his love of math. She was not given. Part of this growth mindset talk the feeling of success after failure, and
as concerned with looking back to the is providing feedback to our boys. we want that for our sons.
cause, as she was to looking toward Dweck (2007), as well as John Hattie
improved mathematical knowledge. As (2012), note that how we provide We want to develop in our child a think-
a fifth-grade teacher, she was focused feedback to children greatly affects ing disposition, a pattern of behavior
on him mastering basic number sense their confidence and their persever- where they can think independently
and fact mastery so that he would be ance. By praising the process instead and critically (Claxton, Costa, & Kallick,
successful with future content. My wife of the outcome or ability, children are 2016). As our children move through
says that I need to stop thinking like a much more likely develop confidence their education and future careers,
principal and start thinking like a dad! to push through challenges (Dweck, they will need to be able to be problem
She told me no college has ever asked 2007). By complimenting effort, strat- solvers and thinking creatively will help.
to see an elementary report card! egies, or persistence, we hope to By the time our boys are old enough to
be in the work force, many of the jobs
Just like there are multiple right develop in our children a confidence we see today will be done by comput-
answers, there are multiple ways in these areas which can be put to- ers. Jobs of the future will involve what
to parent. I always felt that being ward any challenging situation. computers can’t do-think freely and
educators makes us better parents. We want to develop grit in our boys, creatively. Which means in order to be
My wife and I have a large repertoire so they can persevere through chal- successful 10 or 15 years from now, my
of behavior management strategies lenges or failures (Hoerr, 2013). We boys need to be able to think outside of
which come in handy during temper see many of our friends trying to the box and solve problems.
tantrums or birthday parties. We can protect their children from failure — It seems like a tall order — have a
help with homework, and we know giving them the answer for their home- growth mindset, develop grit, and have
a variety of organization and study work assignments, only putting them a thinking disposition. Thinking back
strategies. However, not all aspects of on sport teams they know they will be to the thousands of students we have
the education profession are helpful successful with or immediately call- come in contact with over the last 20
when it comes to parenting. I believe ing teachers or coaches to intervene years in education, both my wife and
that parents who are educators or whenever things don’t go their child’s I can identify those characteristics,
administrators need to focus on what way. While we want to be supportive in our most promising students. We
research shows develops children into of our children, we also want them to hope that as parents we can embrace
productive members of society and not learn how to deal with difficult situa- what we know as educators to be best
simply intelligence. tions on their own. We know life is not for our children. But most of all, we
My wife and I have agreed to make easy. There will be content in school just want them to be happy and love
a cognizant effort to work together to they will struggle with and teams they learning as much as we do!
guide our children to being learners, will try out for and not make, but in

Educational Viewpoints -108- Spring 2018