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MARRIAGE
Mrs. Mindy Eisenman
An Eye for Good
any Jews have the custom are not in charge. Rabbi Arush’s five career development, marriage, and
to improve specific areas foundations for Emunah are: relationships. When we are positive,
Mof their lives at this time we are more thoughtful, creative,
of the year. The Chafetz Chaim 1. Believe that G-d is in our midst, and open to new ideas.
was known to advise his students watching over us and managing
to select and master a single our lives. To improve our optimism and
characteristic before moving on to 2. Believe that we have the power creativity, it is incumbent on us to
another. In Pirkei Avot (2: 13-14), and privilege to speak to G-d habitually work on being happy.
Rabbi Yochanan ben Zakkai asks whenever we wish. We can do this, according to Achor,
his students which character trait through the following methods:
a person should strive to develop 3. Believe that G-d listens to us 1. Meditate and/or pray.
most. Rabbi Eliezer responds, “Ayin and our prayers.
Tova – a good eye.” What’s a good 2. Find something to look forward
eye? Maintaining a positive outlook 4. Believe that G-d loves us and to. Put something on our
on life. It means appreciating what desires to help us, especially calendars; an enjoyable activity,
G-d has given us and not being those who turn to Him and something to anticipate.
jealous of others. The Chesed speak to Him.
L’Avraham comments that this is 3. Perform acts of kindness.
the glue that bonds body and soul 5. Believe that G-d’s power, mercy 4. Infuse positivity into our lives.
and enables us to best serve G-d. and compassion are limitless Hang pictures of loved ones at
The Ramban states that one should and that only He possesses the work, or take a walk on a nice
rejoice in another person’s success resources and the ability to help day.
even if they have not personally us, even when we don’t deserve
reached similar achievement. it. 5. Compile a list of three good
things that happen to us every
Navigating through the world of We must work on our Emunah day. This simple act forces our
dating, engagements and weddings to get closer to G-d, but just by brains to scan the last 24 hours
on one hand and breakups, recognizing that G-d is in charge for potential positives which
broken hearts and painful times makes it easier for us to be happy will make us more skilled
on the other, I see many people and have a positive outlook on life, at noticing and focusing on
grapple with Rabbi Yochanan’s whatever challenges we are facing. possibilities for personal and
characterization of Ayin Tova. How The concept of a positive outlook is professional growth.
is it possible to achieve a positive the main theme of Shawn Achor’s
outlook after so many disheartening book, The Happiness Advantage. He 6. Exercise. Physical activity
dates? Why are so many of my discusses the conventional wisdom boosts our moods and reduces
friends married and I have not yet that success breeds happiness. stress. It is not easy to work on
found the right one? positivity, especially when life
However, over a decade of research throws us some unexpected
Rabbi Shalom Arush, in his book, in the field of positive psychology curveballs.
The Garden of Emunah, reminds us has proven that happiness and
of the soothing power of the belief optimism actually fuel performance May we all recognize that we
that we are not in control of our and achievement. Happiness is a have the capability and power to
own fate. According to the Zohar, subjective wellbeing based on how get closer to G-d by proactively
G-d created us for the sole purpose we feel about our lives, defined working on our positivity in action
of developing a relationship with by a positive mood and outlook, and thought. May we experience
Him and His limitless love for us. just as Rabbi Eliezer suggests. firsthand how much G-d truly loves
He helps us cope with all situations Established data now shows that and cherishes us.
because it is for our ultimate good. happiness leads to success in every Mrs. Mindy Eisenman, MSW, is the Staff
G-d often sends us trials and aspect of our lives, including health, Connector at YUConnects and an adjunct
wake-up calls as reminders that we friendship, community involvement, professor at Stern College for Women
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