Page 49 - HaMizrachi02-04( #12)2019RoshHaShanaYomKippurUSA

Rabbi Hanoch Teller

Tears

n old man, a total stranger, The key was believing that the worst shoes, our names, even our hair.
approached me in shul. Baby would not happen to us. Those who The intention was that once we
Aboomers like myself know didn’t follow this formula were the were deprived of everything, we
at once how to recognize these first to succumb. More important would become hollow, forgetful of
individuals. Before they say a word than the state of our physical dignity and restraint, and once you
or even display their forearm, we health was the state of our minds. lose all, you can lose yourself as
know that they are survivors. If we didn’t have the will to live, the well.
struggle for existence was utterly
There is this sense about him hopeless. The muselmanner – the And this is precisely what we were
that though his body may be here, walking zombies who were more fighting against, which is why giving
his mind is a million miles away. dead than alive – had already lost tzedakah was so important to us.
Pointing to an imaginary calendar, their desire to live, but just had not We were obsessed with fulfilling
he announces, “It is just 13 days yet given up the ghost. this mitzvah and contradicting the
until erev Yom Kippur.” savagery which surrounded us. But
I am telling you now what I could even after overcoming incredible
After a pregnant pause, he adds, not say then. In Auschwitz, we hurdles in the past, we were still at a
“Erev Yom Kippur, you know, is a weren’t allowed to speak when we total loss as to how to deal with this
special day.” pleased, and no one listened when current challenge, and we began to
we were allowed. But then again,”
“Years ago,” he begins, “My friends he comments without irony, “Even weep.
and I faced a serious dilemma on if they would have, they would not Suddenly, a fellow Jew placed his
erev Yom Kippur. We were prisoners have understood. tin cup to his cheek and collected
in the world’s most demonic jail, yet his tears and passed the cup to me.
we had made a commitment to live. This brings me to erev Yom Kippur I sipped the charitable gift and then
The Germans were most inventive when we had our greatest dilemma. reciprocated by placing the cup
and incredibly sadistic regarding My friends and I – rigid skeletons to my cheeks and passed it to my
our quality of life, marshaling a host sitting on the floor, eyes glazed neighbor. This fellow followed my
of challenges we were not expected from starvation – thought long and lead, but by this point, we were no
to survive.” hard about what we would do. We longer collecting tears of sadness.”
had thus far maintained not only
He stops for a moment to collect his our lives but also our humanity and When he finishes his tale there
thoughts and looks deeply into my faith in the Almighty. are long moments of silence. I
eyes. “Ausrücken and Einrücken was want to thank him for sharing his
the constant refrain of our lives: go It was amazing, but somehow, we experiences with me, but a lump is
out and come in; work, sleep, barely had managed to blow a shofar in the lodged in my throat. This wizened
eat, fall ill – get beaten along the camp on Rosh Hashanah. Not 100 octogenarian must know what I
way – get better or die. Had we been blasts, but a few whispered notes. am thinking, for he dabs at his
logical,” he adds in a tone devoid of We also managed to eat matzot on glistening eyes and comments, “It’s
Pesach.
self-pity, “We might have resigned OK. This is the season when we
ourselves to the situation. Our But on erev Yom Kippur, we had an must share. I just started a little
fate was beyond our control and insurmountable dilemma. We had early this year.”
thoroughly in the domain of our to give tzedakah on that day – the
masters’ whim and will. But men day before it would be determined
are rarely logical when their own ‘Who will live, and who will die’ – Rabbi Hanoch Teller, internationally-
fate is at stake. And, as I said, we but we did not own a thing. They acclaimed storyteller extraordinaire, is
had made a commitment to survive. had taken away our clothes, our an award-winning author and producer

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