Page 105 - Likutei Tipshim

New Shul IV gemach: No need to bring cups to shul anymore! Get ***********************************************
hooked up before davening (Available with and without caffeine). It is suggested to wear a hoodie to the Purim seuda so you can make the Halachic Corner
Now your prayers won’t be in vein (just your fluids). mitzva more mHOODer. JB Zmanim for Purim 5780 (2020 ce)
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******************************************************* Time to cash out your retirement account
Are you feeling lonely? Are you depressed because no one ever calls Daf Yomi just started Meseches Shabbos. While this gemara is a little If Trump wins 2024
you? If so, The Chesed Center has the solution! We're pleased to more complicated then Brachos, we urge you to keep on going. The If Bernie wins you won’t have one.
announce the creation of yet-another new Chesed program to benefit expression “Bo Shabbos Bo Menuchah” wasn’t referring to doing the But, don't worry! Everything will be free
the Community! Please contact us, and we'll add you to our daf. EN
"Marketing Opt-IN List." When you add your phone number to Opt- ********************************************************* AD DLO YADA: The preferred way to be mikayam the mitzva of ad dlo
IN, your number will be added to thousands of Marketing Lists. There is a minhag to serve quiche at the Purim Seuda to remind us of yada is with wine, as that was intrinsic in the miracle. While there are
Very soon, you too can be inundated with dozens of people calling Mordechai’s ancestry. As it says … “u'shmo Mordechai ben Ya'ir ben some who subscribe to the “wine is fine but liquor is quicker” school of
you non-stop at all hours of the day, every day -- in English & in Yid- Shimi ben quiche”… JB thought, wine is still preferred. For those that can’t tolerate any form of
dish -- who are interested to speak to you and want you to donate to *********************************************************. alcohol, but would like to reach a level of total confusion, we suggest you
their worthwhile cause, or surveying your opinion, or marketing to read Bernie Sander’s platform with an economist and an accountant.
you, phishing for your personal info, etc. Call us at In this politically correct & 'woke' time that we're all living in, and in ***********************************************************
(800) I-WANT-IN. (Data rates & other charges may apply.) EN order to be sensitive to everybody's sensibilities, we advocate that THIS YEAR’S LIKUTEI TIPSHIM IS SPONSORED BY:
'Shalach Manos' should be renamed 'Shalach Personos" -- since the
****************************************************** The Kovaya Itim Institute inaugurating our first International unSiyum.
mitzvah applies equally to both men and women. EN Every 7 years we will be celebrating the unsung heroes who while not do-
A couple was going to marriage counseling and the facilitator was ********************************************************* ing daf yomi are nevertheless shtyging away. Time to show our respect
explaining the importance of knowing your spouses likes and dis- for all those dedicated masmidim. For more information email us at
likes. He turned to the husband and asked him, “What is your wife’s Hakaras Hatov corner: Thanks to all the shuls that have installed extra Igetnorespect@RodneyDangerfield.com
favorite flower?” He looked knowingly towards his wife and said, security doors. This helps insure we will take the next generation
“Pillsbury, right? ND M’dor L’Dor. Public Service Announcement brought to you by the Avos and Banim
Committee; Fathers can learn with their children, even on their own, at
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random times, during the week and Shabbos.
The zechusim of davening vasikin is well known. While many people New to the city? Having trouble making friends? Chaverim is offering We are pleased to announce that the Olympic committee has approved for
would like to do it, the timing can be so inconvenient. Vasikin Inter- a workshop with practical suggestions to attract friends. Here are some this year’s summer Olympics, Synchronized Shuckeling. There will be
national, an organization that encourages “Time flies like an arrow; examples: Next time you are traveling to Israel put in a notice that you several categories: side to side, back and forth, as well as the shuckeling
people to daven vasikin, is starting a new fruit flies like a banana” are willing to take a suitcase for someone, or if you have some extra triathlon (shuckeling as you walk around the shul yelling random words
st
vasikin minyan for the 21 century in Chi- Groucho Marx tzedaka money ask for help in allocating. from davening).
cago. In the summer, we will daven ac- *********************************************************
cording to the zmanim in Los Angeles and in the winter according to Mr. & Mrs. John Flay wishing their daughter Sue much luck on the open-
the zmanim in New York. Now you can have the benefits of doven- Are all your learning commitments keeping you from exercising? The ing of her restaurant. Join us for a light meal or snack at Sue Flay’s Bistro.
ing vasikin at a much more reasonable and relaxing time. Ahavas Yisroel committee recommends returning your seforim to the Mrs. Baila Rina Waltzer and her daughter Mrs, Shira Singer announce the
bookcase. You will be amazed what it will do for your muscle tone,
******************************************************** weight management and Ahavas Yisroel. grand opening of their song and dance studio at their new location on the
corner of Grace and Mozart. Stay "tuned" for more detail.
Overheard at last year’s seder from a 4 year old boy. “I was going to *********************************************************
drink from kos shel Eliyah at the seder but then I remembered what News Flash: Democrats send Shalach Manos to the President. It
happened to my baby brother when he sat in his chair, so I didn’t. contained a peach and a mint. JB
******************************************************** SEE SOMETHING, SAY SOMETHING:
Archeological news: Recently found in Ir David the first known want Planning a siyum or sheva brachos but short Be vigilant! Democrats Warn That the American people may tamper with
ad in history: on a minyan? Or are you just too the next election. Babylonbee.com
The Kohen Gadol has announced his early retirement. Inside sources lazy to go to shul?
say his main reason for leaving is a severe case of burnout. Applica- Need one, two or even ten people to fill your minyan? Getting up in years? Are your joints starting to creak? Our workouts will
tions are being accepted for his replacement. Nepotism allowed FREE 2-Hour Minyan Delivery have you feeling 10 years younger. Check out Gerry Atrick’s Gym at
(encouraged) . The position requires experience and willingness to www. babyboomersarentbabiesanymore.com
make a lot of sacrifices. Available in select US cities