Page 108 - Likutei Tipshim

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With all the online opportunities for learning these days, there is no
excuse not to be involved with learning every moment. But we know
everyone needs a break once in a while. In this day and age trying to
relax and chill while online is fraught with danger. ANNOUNCING
batalaanytime.com. This revolutionary website has all sorts of dis-
tractions allowing you to take a mental break while being assured you
won't stumble across anything asur. From mindless games, to the lat-
est frum music videos, you can sit back and relax. There is also a
time setting that after a preset time, whether 5, 10 or up to 30 min-
utes, it will redirect your browser back to the last Torah site you were
on. For more information email us at batlanisrus.com
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The CDC in consultation with leading democratic politicians and
pollsters has issued a health advisory, recommending everyone wear
triple masks and for extra protection an aluminum foil hat.
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Breaking news: The mayor's task force to deal with the escalating
crime in the city, has published its report. Taking a page from how
we handled the drug and gambling problem ( by legalizing and taxing
it) the city will now require all gangs to be licensed. To be a recog-
nized gang in the city of Chicago and its environ you need to fill out
Form 22 “Gangs and car jacking license”. Aside of the licensing fee,
all gangs will be taxed at 10% of all their earnings. We feel with this
and in conjunction with defunding the police, we can finally balance
our budget.
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Meshanechnas Adar marbim bsimcha: Here are a few one liners to
help you stay in the mood.
Women shouldn’t have children after 35. Really! 35 children are
enough.
If you think eggplant is good, you should try any other food. It’s
much better.
Worrying works! More than 95% of the things I worry about never
happen.
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You have tasted wine from the Abarbanel Winery. You have enjoyed
the fruits of Rashi’s vineyards. Now it’s I have an inferiority
time to go to the source. Direct from the complex but it's not
shores of the beautiful Euphrates, Ravina very good
and Rav Ashi Vineyards is pleased to of-
fer their “2021 year gold medal winner” Talmud Bubbly. This wine
has a delicate bouquet with just a hint of red fruits, and soft tannis.
We are proud to include this to our line of fine wines which include
our 2020 gold medal winner, Merlot Lugmav.
Halachic Corner
A group of leading medical researchers have published data indicating
that Seder participants should NOT partake of both chopped liver and
charoses. It seems that this combination can lead to: Charoses of the
Liver
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Who hasn’t felt that Mashiach is around the corner? With the imminent
coming of Mashiach, are you really ready? Among the many great
things that will happen, will be the reinstitution of korbanos. We all
know the many korbanos we will have to bring; Korbanos for uninten-
tional sins, intentional sins, thanks offerings, and even those for having
children. The cost of it all can be astronomical. We at Kol Medina
Korban Insurance Company are pleased to be the first to offer Korban
Insurance. For a low monthly fee we will cover the cost of all korbanos
you and your family may become obligated to bring. From choosing
the blemish free animal, to laying of the hands, even that embarrassing
confession, we do it all. When it comes to smichas yadayim on a
korban “You’re in good hands with Kol Medina.
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Eenvay Hagefen Matchmaking Services is pleased to announced an-
other successful match. Join us in wishing mazel tov to Yackov Fine &
Sherry Wine. The Fine Wine wedding will take place Purim Day in the
Herzog vineyard.
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Are you planning a simcha? During this pandemic many relatives can’t
or are afraid to attend. Whether it’s grandparents, great uncles or aunts
or some gadol you always hoped would grace your simcha. Ken Zayn
Photography can help. Send us pictures of your close relatives or
choose from our data base of top Gedolim and we will digitally place
them into select scenes from your simcha. Put them under the chupa, at
the head table or even in the middle of the dancing. Imagine the pride
you will have when showing off your album. People will ask “was that
Rav really at your simcha?” and you just smile and say “Ken Zayn”
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Local shul looking for someone to call our chazen every morning to
make sure he gets up in time for davening. If you always wanted to be
“the one who calls the shatz,” this opportunity is for you..
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We would tell you a Covid virus joke at this point , but you will have to
wait 2 weeks to see if you get it.
I told a joke at my zoom meeting. It wasn’t even remotely funny.
Zmanim for Purim 5781 (2021 ce)
Time to start learning Megilas Esther
According to:
Mechanchim 16th of Shevat
Baal Kria Rosh Chodesh Adar
Baala Batim During Megila Reading
AD DLO YADA: There is a mitzvah on Purim of Ad dlo yada. The ques-
tion arises, what if you don’t know anything to begin with? While there is
an expression ignorance is bliss, in this case that won't help. It would
seem that if you know you don’t know anything, then there is no reason
for you to drink. It is for this reason, we would recommend you read over
some of the presidential executive orders. If they all make sense to you,
then you have an OBLIGATION to drink, however, if they don’t make
sense to you, then you have a REASON to drink.
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THIS YEAR’S LIKUTEI TIPSHIM IS SPONSORED BY:
The Bored Directors of The Humor Training College informing the tzibur
of our latest Halacha series: Covid 19 or and Halacha. The first shiur will
deal with the halachos of wearing a mask during davening. When it’s time
to kiss your tzisis, should you hold them up to your mouth and kiss them
thru your mask, lift up your mask and kiss them or not even bother hold-
ing them? What if you yawn during davening and you are wearing a
mask? Is it still polite to cover your mouth with your hand? What if you
normally wear a gartel for davening and you forgot it at home. Does put-
ting on a mask just for dovening, fulfill that requirement? We ask that all
those attending in person keep socially distant from logic and common
sense.
Mazel tov to Rabbi & Mrs Simcha Ved on the upcoming wedding of their
daughter Alte to HTC student Mark Ding, son of Rabbi & Mrs. Pessach
Ding. The Ved-Ding wedding will take place at Olam Hall.
Joseph Alec and Jim Tricity would like to announce the opening of their
appliance store. Whether your needs are for an AC or DC appliance, be
sure to come to Alec-Tricity appliances
Kashrus Update: In regards to the many calls we have received, please be
advised, despite the name, Hamantashin, this product does not contain
Ham.
Mr. and Mrs. Henry Kandel announce the engagement of their daughter
Dale to Uri Lighting. The Kandel-Lighting Wedding will take place Fri-
day at 5:18 p.m.
Mr. and Mrs. Dwyer wish much luck to their daughter Barbara’s new
fence company. If you need to securely protect your property call Barb
Dwyer Fence Co.