Page 111 - Likutei Tipshim

קחשל שרדמה תיב
Mr. and Mrs. Franz Kaf wish mazel tov to their daughter Dee on the ****************************************************
opening of her Sleep Disorder Clinic. If you are having trouble sleeping, Thoughts to Ponder: Last year Purim, many shuls had signs that read, םישפט יטוקיל
call Dee Kaf for a more restful sleep. ”For security reasons no one allowed to enter the building while wearing םירופ
Humor Training College
Mr. and Mrs. John Carr wish much luck to their son Curtis E. on the a mask”. This year, the signs say “No one allowed into the building Likutei Tipshim 2021 A member of the North Shore University Humor System
opening of his limousine and livery service. If this pandemic ever ends without wearing a mask."
and you actually have guests arriving from out of town, call Curtis E. Did you ever notice that when you put the 2 words "The" and "IRS" to- Volume Loud Number 35 MAKING TIPSHUS WOKE
Carr for prompt service. gether it spells "Theirs? Disclaimer: We, at Lekutei Tipshim, wish to once again inform the public that we are in

Do you have a friend or neighbor who seems happy and just isn’t There are no courses on becoming a garbage collector, you just it pick it no way affiliated, associated, or otherwise related to any institution or organization
stressed like the rest of us? When you discuss this with him, he keeps up as you go along. currently publishing similar types of periodicals, weeklies, etc.
talking about bitachon and how this is all part of H’ plan? Introducing No masks? Yes masks? 1 mask? 2 masks? Antibodies protect? Anti-
lachatz media. For a low introductory price we can bombard him with Why is it that employment application blanks always ask who is to be bodies don't protect? Davening inside is dangerous? Davening inside isn't
headlines from major newspapers from around the country that have pre- called in case of an emergency? I would think everyone would write, "An dangerous? Making meshebarachs take too long and can spread disease!
dictions of pending disasters and cataclysmic events sure to unhinge the ambulance." Making meshebarachs can stop disease! Keeping grandchildren away from
most stable of people. Never mind that none of those predictions ever COVID 19: WHY IS IT HAPPENING? WHAT IS THE MES- grandparents can save them! Isolating grandparents can harm them! After a
happen. So don’t delay send $99.95 to Miserylovescompany.com SAGE: If you think anyone has THE answer, I have a bridge in Brooklyn year of this, it is the opinion of major poskim that you don't have to drink

Jim Carl and Richard Bach are pleased to announce the opening of the for sale. Just try and chill out, have another drink then get ready for this Purim to be mikayim the mitzvah of ad dlo yodah.
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new Cantorial School. All interested applicants should fill out an applica- Shabbos. COVID 19: WHY IS IT HAPPENING? WHAT IS THE MESSAGE? SEE
tion and email it to the Carl Bach School of Music. *********************************************************** BACK PAGE
Questions for Thought and Study
Looking to get into the Hospitality industry? Call our HR department at ***********************************************************
1-800-1-HOTELS. We need inn-experienced people. QUESTIONS: Shaylos related to the shiduch crises:

Tired of attaching things with tape or unsightly strings? Ms. V. Crow is 1. Question: Why shouldn't you wear a wool and linen face mask? Dear Shadchan,
introducing her new line of magic stick cloth. When you want something 2. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? I am so embarrassed. I don’t even know where to begin. I was raised in a
attached simply and easily, think of Val Crow’s, amazing fasteners. wonderful litvish environment. But lately, when I walk by the chasidishe
3. What do you call someone who points out the obvious? shteible on my block, I find I have a strong yearning, almost compulsion to
Small Business Owners: Tired of trying to grow your small business in
the current economic climate? If you don’t feel your business is making a 4 Describe yourself in 5 words grow my peyos, don a frok, and join in a tisch. I’ve thought about coming
profit, make it official and become a not for profit institution. Your cus- 5. Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs? out to my parents but I’m afraid they would be devastated. Can you help
tomer base will dramatically increase when they realize that all of their ANSWER: me? Closet Chosid
purchases will now be viewed as tax deductible contributions. For more Dear Closet,
information, contact us at: www.signofthingstocome@dnc.gov 1. Because you could get shatnes of breath. It’s very common at your stage of life to be drawn to other lifestyles. You
2. Because they make up everything. aren’t alone. As a matter of fact, there are many shadchanim now that have
John Rush and Mark Intuit Financial Planners, are now accepting new on their application form, not only chassid or misnakid, but also misnachid,
clients. If you are looking to invest some funds for retirement, don’t put 3. Someone who points out the obvious. choskid, litvish with chasedish payos, chasidish without a beard and zionis-
it off, call Rush Intuit Financial Ltd. 4. Bad with math. tic Satmar, just to name a few. Relax, your bashert is out there. Be your-

Purim Treats and Confectionaries is pleased to offer for the first time the 5. They always take things literally. self! I assure you there is a girl out there that is just as mixed up as you
Hamantashen Kazoo. Comes in chocolate and fruit fillings. Just blow in are.
one corner and you can make beautiful music. We put the Humm in Ha- *********************************************************** ***********************************************************************
mantashin Likutei Tipshim is not now and has never been associated with any fine institu- From the makers of smart phones and smart speakers, announcing smart
tions of higher learning in the city of Chicago or its environs. masks. Protecting your employment and olam haba while protecting your
Are you looking for a safe, secure, and economical way of getting letters Ideas? Comments? Send email to likutei-tipshim@juno.com life. Our smart mask has 3 settings: The workplace, shul/beis medrash and
and small packages across the country or across the world? Would you The contents of this publication have been certified Torah free. May contain schmoozing with a neighbor.
like to help people earn big chesed mitzvahs with little effort? Announc- some trace elements of gematria. Written in a facility where people eat peanuts. The workplace setting will silence anything you might say that a woke per-
ing a new service for the Jewish Community, Ju.P.S. We will match up Money back guarantee: If this issue fails to produce at least one chuckle and/or son would take offense to and that could cause you to lose your job.
travelers with people that have letters and small packages that need one smile, return to point of purchase for a fool refund. No words will come out. The shul/beis medresh setting will block any
haimesh delivery. Look for more information at a local chesed organiza- THIS PUBLICATION IS STILL NOT A RECIPIENT OF THE JEWISH comment you make that could be considered loshen hara or rechelous. The
tion near you. FEDERATION OF METROPOLITAN CHICAGO schmoozing setting removes all filters. Use this setting at your own risk.