Page 76 - Likutei Tipshim

PURIM GRAMAN: *********************************************************
Avira d'Yisroel Mechakim. The atmosphere of Israel makes one wise.
How many times have you come across a gemarah or tosfos that had you
stumped? Is shnayim mikra or mussar seforim like Greek to you? Lav
Davka is pleased to make available to the tzibur, tanks of air from the
Mir beis medrash. Each tank contains enough air for a whole hour of
learning. We even have tanks that were filled at special times during the
year. For real hasmodeh in that mussar sefer, try the tank that was filled
during Elul zman. Having a tough time in Gemara, try the middle of
winter zman tank. All tanks come with masks that even fit over beards.
You can even join our tank of the month club. Download the form from
our website: www.I_figured_it_out_tanks_to_the_Mir.edu
Having trouble staying up at the Friday night table? All that heavy food
and weight of the week wearing you down? As part of Starbucks
ethnic outreach, we are pleased to announce our first line of caffeinated
kugels. Varieties include potato, lukshun and yerushalmi kugels. For that
heimishe flavor that won’t put you to sleep, pick up a pan today.
Available at a local Starbucks near you.
Here in Chicago we have been blessed with many wonderful people
joining our community from other parts of the country. For some strange
reason, they think just because they have been living here for a decade
or 3 they are "Chicagoans". We are pleased to offer a West Rogers Park
history/trivia test. You must know at least 12 of the following to be con-
sidered an old time Chicagoan:
Bresslers in Lincoln Village, Shoppers World, Nortown Bowl, Craw-
fords, Sunset Drive-In, The Buy Low, Robert Hall, Staimetz Butcher
Shop, Goodman's Book Store, Hobby Models, General Camera, Harry
Hoyt Photography, The Arnold Miller Band, Kiddie Land’s Birthday
Fire Truck, Gross's Bakery, Bell & Howell, Montreal Beverage Co.,
when Yeshurun was the only shul on Touhy, the boy's Bais Yaakov ,
Bonus: Do you remember at least three of the following school princi-
ples? Rabbi Blau, Rabbi Bruckenstein, Rabbi Blanchard, Rabbi Good-
man, Rabbi Lieberman , Rabbi Raifin, Rabbi Rappaport and Mr.
Shneep.
In an effort to make our police department more efficient and serve you
better, the Mayor has announced that police officers will no longer re-
spond to calls about burglaries if the perpetrators are no longer on the
premises. To allay any concerns about a rising
crime rate, you have the option to order a crime I have six locks on my
door all in a row. When
scene kit from the city (for a nominal fee of I go out, I lock every
$100) which includes instructions for checking other one. I figure no
for finger prints and other evidence, as well as matter how long some-
accessing the FBI fingerprint data base. If you body stands there pick-
find a match, you can order an official citizen’s ing the locks, they are
arrest handcuff (for a nominal fee of $100). As always locking three.
Elayne Boosler
always the mayor and police chief have your
safety as their #1 priority.
It's Purim 5773
Time to rejoice with your whole family
We will celebrate one and all
For the Jews rise and Haman's fall
Every generation has a Haman type
Usually full of bluster and hype
But when push comes to shove
H' shows the world that it’s us he loves.
Iran’s Ahmadinejad is a cad
and Egypt's Morsi is plenty bad
But hold your hat just wait and see
How H' will protect you and me.
America of course can't be left out
Both the left and right like to shout
They pretend to act for our own good
But then again so did Robin Hood.
Halachic Corner
Zmanim for 5773 (2013 ce)
TIME TO START DIETING
according to Dr Oz: Right after Purim
according to Hillary Clinton: What difference does it make at this
point?!?
In order to be mikayaim the mitzvah of kriyas hamegilla, we are
not supposed to miss hearing even one word. This means there can be
no talking during megilla reading. This is a challenge for those among
us who have a problem keeping quiet in shul. Our religion is one of in-
clusion. There has always been ample room for self expression ( se-
fardic, ashkenazic, taimani, litvish, chassidish, am ha’aretz, etc.) So,
where is the compassion for the habitual talker? Don't we realize he
can't help himself? He was born that way! How can we ostracize a
whole segment of our people? There are estimates that up to 10% of
people talk during davening or at least would like to. We have to find
ways to make talkers feel comfortable in our shuls. The argument that
our children will learn from their behavior has been proven time and
again to be false. Some people are born shul talkers and some aren't. To
suggest that exposure to a shul talker would be a bad example to chil-
dren is just prejudiced and unfair to the talker. There are some progres-
sive branches of orthodoxy that seek to mainstream talkers. They point
to making noise during Haman as a proof that even in earlier times the
Rabbis made provisions for alternative decorum in shul. This is an on-
going issue that we need to address and whatever conclusion we come
to, we must be careful not to condemn the talker, only the action of
talking.
Questions for Thought and Study
1. What did the baby sing after the priest gave him a bris mila?
2. Why did the coffee taste like mud?
3. Why did everyone want to go to Rabbi Jack Daniel’s house for
the Purim Seuda?
Answers
1. Hagalach Hamoel Osi
2. Because it was fresh ground.
3. Because his wife was an excellent Bala Boozetah.
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Thoughts to Ponder:
1. If G-d didn't want us to eat animals why did he make them out of
food?
2. If you can't tuna fish could you at least adjust its scales?
3. When did the ability to make and receive calls become the least im-
portant function of a cell phone?
Thoughts NOT to Ponder:
1. Will the third Bais Hamikdosh have Wifi?
2. How wide of a brim will the Moshiach’s hat have? Or will he have a
hat at all?
THIS YEAR’S LIKUTEI TIPSHIM IS SPONSORED
By קחשל שרדמה תיב Humor Training Center wishing mazel tov to board
-
members, Mark and Mary Marx on the birth of triplets, Harpo, Chicko
and Groucho.
Harvard Television Corporation’s Teletubbie LiveStream continues this
week. Tune in and watch Prof. Tinky-Winky who will speak on “ The 3
R’s: Radicated Rhizomes, Reform Rabbis, and Arithmetic.”
Herbal Tea College’s Gourmet Tea Time at Smoky’s Tea Bistro will take
place next Thursday. Rabbi Earl Grey will speak on “The Tea Party:
Have they crossed the halachik dateline? ” Complimentary water as well
as a discounted tea menu available for shiur participants.
Are you downtown? Got 5, 15, 30 or 45 minutes? Consider stopping for
a cup of coffee, getting a haircut, taking a nap or going for a jog.
Mr. and Mrs. Al Toomey are proud of their son Reed who has developed
a new parental help app. Now when your kids ask you to read them a bed
time story and you have no time, use the Reed Toomey app. Your smart
phone will scan any book and read it to them. For more information,
check out our Website. www.YouAreVeryImportantToMeBut.com