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קחשל שרדמה תיב
I would like to apologize to all my creditors as I was unexpectedly called Have you been intimidated by Haman? #MeTooHaman. Follow us on
away. Be assured, I will make good on all of my debts. Mr Skip Towne Yenter םישפט יטוקיל
Political clarification: Please note the tefila said after Birkas Cohanim on Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I’ll track you down… םירופ
yom tov is about dreams NOT Dreamers. You have my Word Humor Training College
Likutei Tipshim 2018 A member of the North Shore University Humor System
Worried about money in your pocket causing you to be over the issur of **************************************************** Volume Loud Number 1 MAKING TIPSHUS GREAT AGAIN
shatnez? The Ronco Pocket Shatnez protector is just what you need. It Thoughts to Ponder:
can hold up to 50 bills and fits easily into your pocket. Made out of a Disclaimer: We, at Lekutei Tipshim, wish to once again inform the public that we are in
space age nylon, it can’t be sliced, it can’t be diced and will last a life- 1. Why does the sun lighten our hair, but darken our skin? no way affiliated, associated, or otherwise related to any institution or organization
time. But wait there’s more. If you order during the Purim holiday, we 2. Why is the man who invests all your money called a 'Broker'? currently publishing similar types of periodicals, weeklies, etc.
will throw in our famous pocket fisherman. 2 items for the low low price 3. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who
of $19.99 plus tax and shipping. This issue is our first Certified Green Issue: Organic, Local and Sustainable
drives a racing car not called a racist? Made with 50% recycled materials.
With the amazing success of Shas for shiduchim, we are excited to invite 4.If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that ____________________________________________________________
the tzibur to "Shots for Shidduchim". electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, tree How many times have you done a mitzvah and felt it was done at best,
All drinking will be held at Yeshivas Ad'dlo Yodah on Purim Day. bedieved? Could it have been done better? Did you wish you had better
surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Please bring your own bottle. kavana? The Lichatchila Kollel is now offering Mitzvah Insurance. For a
Prior to drinking, all shosim should make sure to check in (while you still *********************************************************** small donation to our Kollel, we will assign your specified mitzvah to a
remember your name). Drinking begins anytime on Wednesday Febru- Questions for Thought and Study highly qualified avraich, who will do the mitzvah simultaneously with you.
ary 28, 2018 from shkiyah (5:40 PM) through Thursday, March 1, 2018 1. How many Poles does it take to deny the Holocaust? He has been highly trained to use all the holy kavanas he can muster. Feel
shkiyah (5:41 PM). safe and secure knowing that whatever distractions might come your way,
The Yeshiva will be open 24 hours. 2. What is round and bad tempered? he will, “keep you in mind”. For more information contact us at:
If you would like to sponsor a bottle or be a designated driver call us at 3. How does NASA organize a party? BedievedForYouIsLechatchlaForUs.com.
773-1WH-ISKY
4. How do you make a net? ************************************************************************
In a related issue, if you drank specifically for someone and then they got Actual Shaylos from the Choshen V’Efod Kollel
engaged, you are entitled to get shadchanus gelt for it. But please keep Answers:
in mind, if you do, you will lose your schar shikur. 1. The more things change the more they stay the same. Question #1: I just discovered that the U.S. currency is 25% linen. If I wear
wool pants, can I keep dollar bills in my pants pocket, or is it shatnez?
Sons of Israel is sponsoring a Shalom Bayis Series. First Class: Men Are 2. A vicious circle
from Mars Women Are from Venus; the Jewish Version, or If Men Had 3. They planet Thank you for a fascinating question. There are 2 different approaches we
to Clean for Pesach and Women Had to Build Sukkas They Would Both took in investigating your questions.
Start Erev Pesach. 4. You sew a bunch of holes together. 1. If the linen is only 25% of the bill, is it batel brov?

Looking for the perfect place to celebrate Pesach? A place with a real *********************************************************** 2. Is the pocket made out of something other then wool that can act as a
Heimishe feel and Heimishe food and with all the chumras you are used Likutei Tipshim is not now and has never been associated with any fine institu- chatzizah?
to? Would you like a private room for your personal Seder as well? Rea- tions of higher learning in the city of Chicago or its environs. As far as the linen goes, it is added to give the bill more durability.
sonably priced? Consider staying home. Ideas? Comments? Send email to likutei-tipshim@juno.com Hence, it is a davar hamaymid and wouldn’t be batul. Pockets on the other
The contents of this publication have been certified Torah free. May contain hand, are usually made out of muslin, a cotton derivative. This should act
The Open Orthodox Rabbinate would like to inform the kosher consumer some trace elements of gematria. Written in a facility where people eat peanuts.
that we are launching our own kosher supervision, the INVISIBLE K. Money back guarantee: If this issue fails to produce at least one chuckle and/or as a chatziza between the bill and the pants. However, if the money is burn-
ing a hole in your pocket, you might have a problem.
According to an article in the May 14, 2015 issue of Time magazine, the one smile, return to point of purchase for a fool refund.
average attention span of a goldfish is nine seconds. According to a THIS PUBLICATION IS STILL NOT A RECIPIENT OF THE JEWISH Question #2: I usually wear a hat when I daven. I am going to be driving
study by Microsoft Corp., people now generally lose concentration after FEDERATION OF METROPOLITAN CHICAGO cross country and will be going thru some places that a black hat might
eight seconds. To combat this problem, SMU Social Media University is Prepared by people with too much time on their hands. If you would like cause unwanted attention or maybe even physical assault. Do I need to be
announcing an online course to help build up your concentration. Down- to sponsor an addition of likutei-tipshim we also have bridge in Brooklyn matir neder if I want to daven on the roadside in a baseball cap?
load our app and in no time at all, you will have the attention span of a you might be interested in. A. Thank you for your interesting question. Under the circumstances, we
goldfish. can see a reason to give you a HATer. This psak is for you alone and only

for this situation, so please keep it under your hat.