Page 17 - HaMizrachi #14 2019 Chayei Sarah USA

PARENTING

Rabbi Yakov Horowitz

Of Spaceships and Spacesuits

magine that you are deeply devoted You might canvass the parent body You would also do everything possible
to a lifestyle of only eating health of your son’s school for parents who to make healthful living as attractive
Ifood and eschewing all forms of share your values and eventually start as possible, by preparing the tastiest
nosh. In fact, you feel so strongly a breakaway school where all students meals from the foods you eat at
about this that you decide to raise eat healthy food. If you are really into home. And while you most certainly
your children with the healthful the If mindset, you might even decide will quote research-based
eating habits that you adopted. to move to a neighborhood where studies, that people who eat
all families are similar minded,
There are basically two approaches travel on buses with health- carefully have an enhanced
you can embrace to pass on your conscious people, and shop quality of life and less illness, you
healthful eating habits to the next in stores that only carry will never make wild exaggerations
generation. I like to think of these foods you find acceptable. and say things like, “All people who
diverse mindsets in terms of If and eat junk food die at a young age,” or
When. Conversely, adopting the When “People who eat well never have any
outlook requires you to keep the problems at all.” Why? Because you
The If philosophy embraces the long-term picture in mind from the understand that this misinformation
premise that If you can create the very start and then work your way may carry the day in the If phase, but
proper set of circumstances, you backward. That means setting a far-
have a decent shot of protecting your reaching goal of having your child will never survive the When stage –
children in perpetuity from negative eat well throughout their life – even and once your kids realize that you
junk food influences. The When When they mature into adulthood were less than truthful with them,
mindset, on the other hand, assumes and start their own family. they will turn cynical and perhaps
that despite your best If efforts, it reject even your accurate teachings.
is inevitable that your children will To achieve that goal, you realize you As we do our very best to raise our
encounter any and all types of food will really need to ‘sell’ the concept
throughout their lives. Therefore, of healthy living, not just limit children with healthy Torah values all
you channel your energy in preparing their exposure to junk food. So you the while surrounded by spiritual junk
them for the When – the time when patiently teach them all about the food, I suggest that we collectively and
you will no longer be able to shield human body and devote a great deal of individually ask ourselves how much
them from the elements. time explaining the rationale behind energy and passion we are devoting
healthful living. to If activities and how much to the
If I may use another analogy; If is When ones?
like creating a spaceship (an enclosed You would also do everything
area where one can survive in an possible to encourage them to ask From my vantage point, a hybrid of the
environment not conducive to human you any questions that come to two approaches seems to be the most
habitat), while When is more like mind – even or especially those logical and effective way of teaching
a spacesuit (the type of protection that challenge the philosophy you our children in these challenging
that is portable and accompanies the espouse. times. For while only concentrating on
person it protects.) When and allowing our children to be
After all, you fully realize that they
Should you decide to go the If route, will be asking these questions as soon exposed to negative influences would
you would simply eliminate your as the When stage of their life begins. be terribly irresponsible and harmful,
son’s exposure to junk food. That With that in mind, you would much relying on If only is at least equally as
means no play-dates for your rather respond to them early on, dangerous.
son in the homes of families lest they fester and erode their Rabbi Yakov Horowitz is an educator,
that don’t share your eating faith in your tradition later author, and child safety advocate. He
habits and no birthday in life when you have far less conducts parenting workshops in Jewish
parties where nosh is served. input. communities around the world

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