Page 10 - April 2023 CW Magazine

Here are three powerful ways to shift the You exhibit vulnerability and competency
perspective, if not the narrative: when you share your success, especially when
you need a hard-fought win. Create a hero's
A) Be blunt, transparent, and vulnerable when journey from the experience and "wow" your
broaching the entrepreneur issue. An indirect partner by allowing them to celebrate the
approach makes you seem evasive and weak.
victory with you. Seeing them shift to your
side and elevate you to a position of value is
B) Include your significant other in some details,
maybe not all, and draw them into your passion- fantastic. Talk about inflating egos!
driven world. That allows you to project value
onto their participation. What happens when nothing seems to break
the ice? Is your partner anchoring based on an
C) Insist on celebrating successes and milestones embedded bias? Only you would know if a
with them first, not colleagues or clients. You cultural or explicit bias is in play. The best
draw them in by showing their increased path forward is to be patient but firm about
engagement, and sharing is valuable to you.
your choices and the right to make them. You
Let me shift to an example. My reality as a win through patient resolve, not
male is flipped but similar. My wife is argumentation. At some point, you chose your
analytical, a life-long accountant who sees life partner for a significant reason. Honor that
numbers in her sleep. Anything outside the reason, then gently ask them to honor your
numbers bores her to tears. I approach her choices. After eleven years of doing this
with my numbers, and she engages; any other conflict management "thing," I find that
approach is meaningless. My approach to the choice works best.
three perspective shifters is to speak to her in "Life is messy. I fix messy.
her hot spot.
Reach out."

Simultaneously engaging in relationship-
sustaining and entrepreneurial mindsets
sometimes creates barriers in work and home
environments. Based on our company
analytics, this scenario is when a lack of
support pushes conflict into overdrive. When
faced with this dilemma, your best option is to
reach out for external help, cycling away from
your fight-flight-freeze response, and regaining
a sense of calm.

This significant coping strategy allows you to
respond to challenges with critical thinking
skills instead of embedded fear response
mechanisms. The secondary benefit of seeking
external help is simultaneously mitigating your
partner's fear response. Plus, after you navigate
the space successfully, you can trigger the Buddy Thornton
three primes for shifting perspectives. BCT Mediations PLUS
https://www.bctmediationsplus.com

10 I www.thecontemporarywoman.com THE CONTEMPORARY WOMAN MAGAZINE