Page 12 - Family Life Student Textbook

God’s prescription for marriage involves three actions. First, each of us must leave our parents. Second, the
man and woman must bond together to create a new unbreakable unit. And thirdly, the two shall become
one flesh. We will discuss these three aspects in greater detail in the next lesson.

Jesus warned against anything man might do to separate this bond created by God. In other words, mankind
should not attempt to break a bond which can only be broken by God. Marriage vows are made and kept
before God. God has great interest in the keeping of marriage vows. It reflects his character.

The Pharisees then pressed Jesus with a further question.

Matthew 19:7–9 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a
certificate of divorce and send her away?” Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to
divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the
beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality,
and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Jesus clarified that the only possible reason for divorce is physical adultery. God accepts only the one
exception for divorce and remarriage which is physical adultery. God had made that one exception because
of the hardness of men’s hearts. Jesus here claimed to speak for God with the words “I say to you” (19:9a;
5:32a). And Jesus told his listeners that any remarriage after divorce, for any other reason than this one
exception, is sinful adultery.

This passage contradicts most of the reasons people give today for divorce. Unhappiness is not a reason for
divorce. Being unfulfilled is not a reason. Neither is tension and disappointment. Becoming dissatisfied and
finding someone more exciting does not qualify. “Falling out of love” does not give us a reason to break our
marriage covenant.

What did Jesus mean when he used the words “sexual immorality”?

This could be interpreted to mean physical adultery (not emotional adultery or lust (5:27-28). But Jesus was
making it very clear that he was disagreeing with those who taught that a man must divorce his wife if she
were guilty of a sexual offense. Certainly, the biblical emphasis on forgiveness would apply here. Some
would argue that only habitual sexual immorality would qualify as this one exception. But again, we
remember Jesus teaching about forgiving 70x 7 times. In other words, we need to forgive without keeping
count.

The word in the Greek here translated “sexual immorality” could also be interpreted as sexual immorality
during the Jewish betrothal period. A biblical illustration of this would be the story of Mary and Joseph after
Mary miraculously became pregnant with child during her betrothal to Joseph. Betrothal was stronger than
our engagement today. A man and a woman who were betrothed to one another were considered married,
even though they were not yet living together. If this is what Jesus meant, then there would not be any
reason for divorce today, because we do not practice betrothal as the Jewish culture did.

Jesus’ listeners clearly understood that he was making divorce very difficult as shown by their question of
whether it was better not to even get married.

Matthew 19:10 “The disciples said to him, ‘If this is the situation between a husband and
wife, it is better not to marry.’”

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