Page 158 - Advanced Biblical Counseling Student Textbook

It is interesting, as you go through the process of marriage questions, that you will find that 20% (which
is pretty much of the stats) of the couples you will counsel will end up CALLING IT OFF as they find out
they are incompatible. So, expect couples to gel and also expect others to break it off.

Here are some good questions to ask them to ascertain their spiritual experiences:

1. Discuss your spiritual experiences?
2. When did you trust Christ for eternal life?
3. What questions do you have about spiritual matters?
4. How do Christian friends influence a couple’s spirituality?
5. How do Christian literature and music influence a couple’s spiritual development?
6. What kind of music do you listen to and enjoy?
7. Can you enjoy the music of your partner?
8. What kind of music do you find distasteful and do not want played in your home?
9. What kind of music causes you to be creative and peaceful?
10. Did your parents have private devotions and/or family devotions?
11. What kind of devotions would you like to have in your own family with your spouse and
children?
12. Do you have private devotions?
13. Do you have a pattern for seeking God’s will in all situations?
14. Is faithful church attendance important for you?
15. What are your personal convictions concerning issues such as dancing, drinking, movies, etc.
16. What Biblical disagreements between the two of you need to be sorted out.
17. How will you treat religious differences between you?
18. Do you believe that leadership in the Biblical sense is gentle, considerate and loving?
19. How would you deal with your spouse when he/she is being obstinate?
20. Young lady, how would you want your spouse to encourage you to be submissive and
respectful?
21. Young man, how would you encourage your spouse to encourage you to take the leadership
role?
22. What should your spouse do if you are not fulfilling your role?
23. Is it ever the spouse’s job to force the other to change?
24. Are you willing to admit to each other the sin that you continue to struggle with?
25. Are you willing to be transparent and not hide secrets?
26. How can your mate help you when you struggle to tell the whole truth or exaggerate the truth?
27. Is it ever all right to keep a secret from your mate?
28. How strict are you in obeying the laws under which you will function? Are you a rule keeper or a
rule breaker?

If both are believers (or both are non-believers) as them the following questions about marriage:

General Views of marriage
1. Honestly, what is your view of marriage? (do you have a positive view or negative view?) Why?
2. How important is having a good marriage to your life? Why?
3. How important is having a good marriage to your ministry?
4. What will it take for you to have a good marriage?

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