Page 159 - Advanced Biblical Counseling Student Textbook

Determine from their responses if they have a Biblical view of marriage. If not, consider taking time to
teach them what God’s design for marriage is from Scripture.

Dating Experiences
Next, talk about their dating experiences. Ask them the following questions:
1. How have your experiences of previous dating affected your view of marriage?
2. How have your experiences within your own dating experiences affected your view of marriage?
3. What are your partner’s greatest strengths? What are his/her greatest weaknesses?
4. In dating so far, what things really bug you about your partner?
5. How do you plan to handle those things that bug you in a marriage relationship?
6. Have you talked about those things that irritate you that your partner does?
7. Do you have plans to try to change those things that your partner does that bug you?
8. Are you willing to fully accept your choice of partner’s shortcomings as well as his/her
strengths?
9. What are your partner’s greatest strengths? What are his/her greatest weaknesses?

Based on the answer to these questions, you will be able to ascertain whether each of the partners is
mature enough to deal with differences in personalities and behaviors of their partner. If there is
immaturity in these areas, stop and work on teaching them how to handle imperfections in others.

Roles of the husband or wife

Next, talk the roles of the husband and wife. Quite often, a young man or woman will have
preconceived ideas about the role of each, and their ideas may differ considerably. That could lead to
lots of problem in the future. Most couples glean what their roles are from their parents. That could be
good, or it could be a problem. Ask them the following questions:

1. What do you understand to be the role of the husband?
2. How is he to show his love for his wife?
3. How is he to lead his wife?
4. How should these characteristics already show themselves in how a young man dates a young
woman?
5. What do you understand to be the role of the wife?
6. How is she to show her respect for her husband?
7. How should she be a helper to her husband?
8. How should these characteristics already show themselves in how a young woman dates a
young man?
9. How do you need to improve in the development of these characteristics in preparation for
marriage some day?
10. Whose job is it in your future marriage to handle the finances in the home?
11. Do you think a wife should work to support the family?
12. Young lady, what do you expect from your husband?
13. Young man, what do you expect from your wife?
14. How will you handle each other’s contradictions?
15. Do you believe in careful and sensitive listening?
16. Do you believe in talking over matters and sharing in the decision-making for the family?
17. Do you believe in using counselors to help you solve personal problems?
18. What are your short-range goals?

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