Page 25 - Nutshell 4

BARGELLO: Curses! I’m the Great Bargello, the greatest explorer of
the twentieth century! Why do I keep finding civilization everywhere
I go?

ERICSON: How can you be the greatest explorer if there’s nothing
left to explore? It’s old men like me who did all the great exploring,
back when you were still trying to find the little boys’ room in
kindergarten. Where is that bartender?

BARGELLO: Nonsense! I am the greatest, the smartest, the
strongest, the bravest explorer ever! It’s not my fault if the world has
run out of remote areas to explore. I’ll bet I could go places and
discover things that you never could!

ERICSON: You think so, eh? Well, it just so happens that I know a
scientist who is looking for someone to go on an expedition. He
asked me, but I knew I couldn’t do it, so I turned him down.

BARGELLO: Really? You aren’t up to it? Where is this scientist? I’ll
go see him and I’ll take on this project of his. I’m not afraid to try!

ERICSON: Very well then. He’s Dr. Pesky, at Bellevue Hospital here
in New York.

BARGELLO: I’m going to see him right now! (exits)

ERICSON: Hee-hee-hee! Serves him right! Now, where is that
blasted bartender?

BARTENDER (enters slowly, with bag) Well, I got the rambutan. I had
to go all the way to the Philippines to get them, and—hey, where is
the Great Bargello?

ERICSON: Oh, he just left. And I don’t think he’ll be back for a long
time. Hee-hee-hee!

BARTENDER: But—but—what will I do with this bag of
rambutan?

ERICSON: I don’t know. I can’t stand the stuff. What I’d like is a
nice cup of Tibetan tea with yak butter.

BARTENDER: Yak butter! Oh, no, here I go again!