Page 181 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Chapter Thirty-One

single cell in my body begins to awaken. Like a welcomed
thunderous rain over a parched and barren land, I feel a
wellspring of hidden passion rising up. We are both taken
aback by the spark we have ignited. Even with our childlike
awkwardness, we can both feel it. We know we are moving into
very dangerous territory.
But passion will have its way and in the days that follow,
our relationship bursts into a whole new pallet of beautiful
colours. What started as a simple friendship soon grows into
a shameless and powerful affair. The love that’s been secretly
growing between us must be acknowledged. Our spirits are
united and our bodies usher us to a place I have never before
experienced.
Up until now, everything I have done has been geared
toward productivity or performance. How well I can sing.
How well I can act or entertain or make people laugh. How
well I behaved as a little girl in school. How well I could keep
all our family secrets from the outside world. How strong I
remained as one after another of my family members dropped
like flies. How well I am succeeding at playing the game of
music, meeting the right people and schmoozing with those
who might take me up the next rung on the ladder. How pretty
or sexy I should or shouldn’t look and act in live shows or photo
shoots. How high my songs go on the charts. How many award
nominations I receive or don’t receive or don’t win. How well I
perform for talent buyers and club owners and patrons, so that
I will be hired back. How good I try to make other people feel
when they are having a rough time. How I feel the need to
make sure everyone else is happy. How made up I have to be
every single day, so my husband feels good about being married
to me – or good about himself. How clean my house is, how
well I cook. How much I need to smile when I am dying inside.

167