Page 267 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Chapter Forty-Four

my husband can only think of himself and his frigging lack of
sleep. Can we talk about my lack of sleep, just once? Can we
talk about co-parenting and partnership?
Finally, he drags his guilty butt out of bed, gets dressed
and off we go. Thankfully a run of antibiotics does the trick
and Keldon is fine. If only there was a pill that could fix my
marriage!
Our little family is disintegrating. Many times, Gord will
insist that only one of us go shopping and run errands while
the other stays at home with Keldon. Practical, maybe, but this
means the three of us rarely go out as a family. When Gord
is home, he immediately escapes by doing long runs, playing
hockey, watching mindless TV, practicing bass, writing music
and performing as many late-night gigs as he can possibly
handle. Where is the family time, the couple time, the fun
times? What happened to the conversations that we used to
have? The laughter? The connection? Am I overreacting? Am I
making too big of a deal out of this?
Sadly, I don’t think so. Gord’s selfishness was there from
day one. But when you’re crazy in love with someone you tend
to ignore these things. Looking back, I’m sure I was blinded by
infatuation. You see, Gord is an only child with a doting mother
and I’m sure that played a huge part in his development. He’s
used to getting what he wants when he wants it. Don’t get me
wrong - he’s not some horrible, demanding person. He’s just
used to things going according to his plans, fulfilling his needs
and his desires. He doesn’t know how to give unless there’s
something in it for him.
I realize now that we were only about four months into
our marriage (around the time when I got pregnant) when the
distancing began. At first it was the lack of sex. Any interest
in my developing body was gone. I simply chalked it up to

253