Page 265 - Reason To Sing by Kelita Haverland

Chapter Forty-Four

of a musician. Even one who is also a husband and a father. I
totally understand about the gig, I really do. A musician never
turns down a gig! Never! It’s always feast or famine. So now,
Gord is out on the road touring for weeks at a time. Most days
I feel like a single mother. But Gord loves playing and he’s the
one who is supporting our little family. He is doing what is
necessary.
It just doesn’t seem fair. To me! I have been home with
Keldon on my own for two solid weeks and Gord just continues
living his life like he always has. I need the three of us to be
together, as a family. Keldon needs his Daddy. Why can’t he get
that? He just doesn’t seem to want to make the time these days.
I get the work thing, but hockey too? Shouldn’t his family take
precedence over that?
I hate to admit it, but I am starting to feel something very
unsettling. A feeling I don’t like one single bit. It’s like a stringy
piece of spider’s web stuck in my hair. I have tried to brush it
away. I have tried to wash it out. But this unwelcome ‘thing’
keeps invading my personal space. And as time passes, I can no
longer ignore this silent creeper.
Something is not right. I do not want to go there so I am
fighting this. But that old niggling feeling in the pit of my gut
will not be ignored.
Lord, I can’t bear the thought of more fear, more anguish,
more pain. But the signs are all here. They’ve been playing like
an old black and white movie in the back of my mind. I can’t
shut them out any longer. Am I back to hiding and pretending
all over again?
Another day, another night and Gord is still distant. But
this time I must wake him from a deep sleep. “Gord, Keldon is
really bad.”
“Huh, what? He’s bad?”

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