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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 3 - Lesson 1 ג רמאמ - י ֶעי ֶב ְר ר ִר ִׁ
Heaven.” So too it is written there in that reference regarding the ַע ֵגּׁ ם ָנ ְכ ָתּ ִֶ םי ֶרוּבּ ֶדּ י ֵדְי ל ַע ר ַר הּ ָני ֵא ה ָא ָנּא ִֶ - רֹמא ֵל
physical love of a woman, as that too must be brought into the cycle
of service to Hashem. ל ַע ַבּ ַה הּ ָבּ ִֶ ה ָרוּצּ ַה - רוּבּ ֶדּ ַה פ ִפֹא י ֵדְי ל ַע ם ַגּ א ָלּ ִא ,ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָבּ
ת ַח ַנ ְבּ םי ֶר ָמ ֱא ִנּ ַה םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ַה ם ָתּא ִֶ ֵֶי .םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ַה ת ִא הּ ָל ר ֵמּא
In his letter quoted above he describes in detail the ideals one needs ַע ֵגּׁ ִֶ תוּג ֲה ַנ ְת ֶה ל ִֶ פ ִפֹא ל ָכּ פ ֵכ ְו .םי ֶע ְגּׁ ם ָני ֵא ךְוּיּ ֶח ְבוּ
on which to base his love for his wife “because she is his life’s
companion and his counterpart in creation, and they share life .םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ת ַא ָנּא ר ִד ִג ְבּ אוּה ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָבּ
in partnership, and each one helps and is helped by the other.”
The cultivation of this partnership which is also explained above in ךְי ֶר ָצ ."ןָז ְג ַר ה ֶי ְה ִי אלֹ ְו ב ֵצ ָע ה ֶי ְה ִי אלֹ ְו" :ךְי ֶֶ ְמ ַמ ם"ַבְּמרַָה
the letter of our master the Gaon Chazon Ish is the foundation of
mutual love and affection. Hashem Yitbarach instilled within a man הִי ְהֶי ּרוּבּ ֶדּ ִֶ פ ֵכ י ֵנ ְפ ֶל ר ַמ ָא ר ָב ְכּ י ֵר ֲה ,וי ָר ָב ְדּ ת ִא פי ֶב ָה ְל
and a woman their different roles in life and gave them different רֵיּ ַד ְנ ם ַר ְבּ .ז ִגֹר ְבּ רוּבּ ֶדּ ל ָל ְכּ ַה ֵמ אי ֶצּמ ר ָב ְכּ פ ֵכּ ם ֶא ְו ,ת ַח ַנ ְבּ
“talents.” Their “jobs” and their “talents” compliment and perfect ז ֵגּר ּני ֵא ִֶ ,ר ַמּל ְכּ ,"פ ָז ְג ַר" א ָלּ ִא ,"ז ֵגּר" ר ַמ ָא אלֹ :וי ָר ָב ְד ֶבּ
each other – “each one helps and is helped by the other,” “they
share life’s experiences as partners.” What unites them as partners .ּתּ ְֶ ֶא י ֵנ ְפ ֶל םי ֶר ֵח ֲא םי ֶֶ ָנ ֲא ל ַע ַח ֵתּ ַר ְת ֶמ א ָלּ ִא ,ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ל ַע
in common purpose to serve Hashem Yitbarach is building a הּ ָכוּׁ ֶה אי ֶה ְו ,ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ת ִא ת ִר ִע ַצ ְמ אי ֶה תוּנ ָז ְג ַר ל ִֶ ה ָרי ֶו ֲא ָה
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home of Torah and the fulfillment of mitzvot. If this goal is not
approached in partnership and each one pursues their own interest .תֶי ַבּ ַבּ די ֶמ ָתּ תּר ְֶ ֶל ה ָכי ֶר ְצּ ִֶ ה ָחּנּ ֶנּ ַה ְו ה ָמי ֶע ְנּ ַה ה ָרי ֶו ֲא ָה ל ִֶ
– focusing on what is good only for themselves to the point where
their relationship becomes purely superficial and affected, “Why ב ֵצּ ַע ְתֶי אלֹּ ִֶ ה ָנ ָוּ ַכּ ַה פי ֵא - "ב ֵצ ָע הִי ְהֶי אלֹ ְו" ל ִֶ ֶוּר ֵׁ ַה ןֵכְו
don’t you do for me the things that I do for you?!” – the foundation ה ָתְי ַבּ ַה אּבָי אלֹּ ִֶ ,פ ֵכּ ל ַע ר ִתִי א ָלּ ִא ,תֶי ַבּ ַה י ֵנְי ְנ ֶע ְו ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ל ַע
of their relationship crumbles, G-d forbid.
ע ַבֹ ְש ּני ֵא ִֶ פּג ְכּ ,תֶי ַבּ ַל ץוּח ֶמּ ִֶ םי ֶנָי ְנ ֶע ל ַע תּבוּצ ֲע םי ֶנ ָפ ְבּ
י ֵנ ְׁ ֶמ ּא ,ה ִז םּי ְבּ םי ֶדוּמּ ֶלּ ַה ר ֵׁ ְס ִה ֵמ ּא ּלּ ִֶ א ָתוּר ְב ַח ַה ֵמ פּצ ָר
ת ִא תּר ֲע ַצ ְמ תּבוּצ ֲע ָה וי ָנ ָׁ י ֶכּ ,וי ָר ָס ֲע ַבּ ּזי ֶג ְר ֶה אוּה ְדּ פא ַמּ ִֶ
אּב ָל ַח ֵמֹ ָש ּני ֵא ִֶ ,הּ ָמ ְצ ַע ְל תאֹז ס ֵחַי ְל ה ָלוּל ֲע אי ֶה ְו ,ּתּ ְֶ ֶא
י ֵר ֲה ַו ,ּתי ֵב ְבּ ַחּנ ְבּ ֶי ֶגּ ְר ַמ ּני ֵא ִֶ ְו ,בוֶּ הּ ֶָ ְג ָפ ְל ה ָתְי ַבּ ַה
בּט ֶי ֶגּ ְרַי ּבּ ִֶ תֶי ַבּ ּל פי ֶכ ָה ְל ת ַח ַרּט - ּתי ֵבּ ּז - ּתּ ְֶ ֶא
,"ב ֵצ ָע הִי ְהֶי אלֹ" ל ִֶ ךְ ִפ ִה ַה אוּה "תּפָי םי ֶנ ָׁ ר ִב ֵס" .םי ֶע ָנ ְו
10. Please study the MaHaRal (Be’er HaGolah, fourth Be’er, page 83).
This is the explanation of Chazal, that starting at the six days of .תּנ ְר ֶל םי ֶכי ֶר ְצ וּנ ָא ה ָל ֲע ַמ הּ ָתּא
Creation, Hashem Yitbarach is occupied with matching couples in
marriage – for only their service to Hashem in joint partnership has
the power to unite these two different people and make them one.
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