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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander          רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
 A Peaceful Home             ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
 Chapter 4 - Lesson 4             א רמאמ - י ֶֶי ֶל ְֶ ר ִר ִׁ
 Chapter 4 - Lesson 4   ר ַר ,םּל ֶָ ְו ס ַח ה ָנּ ֻג ְמ ּז פי ֵא , ָהי ִר ֲח ַא ְלוּ  ָהי ִנ ָפ ְלוּ רוּבּ ֶח ַה ת ַע ְֶ ֶבּ


              ד ָבּ ְעֶֹ ְמּ ִֶ ְכּ פ ֵכּ ִֶ ל ָכ ְו ,ה ִז ָל ד ָבּ ְע ֶֻ ְמ הָי ָה אלֹ וּלּ ֶא וּלּ ֶפ ֲא ַו ,ה ָו ְצ ֶמ
 A pleasant attitude.
              ת ִא ר ֵא ָב ְל ל ֵדּ ַתּ ְֶ ֶנ .ב ָתּ ְכ ֶמּ ַה פֶּ ְל פא ָכּ ד ַע ."פי ֶדּ י ֶׁ ל ַע ה ִז ָל
                                  .'ה ת ַר ְז ִע ְבּ וי ָר ָב ְדּ
 “Shammai  says…greet  every  person  with  a  pleasant  attitude”
 (Pirkei Avot 1:15) (Rabbeinu Yonah explains this to mean “Show
 them a happy face so that person will be uplifted and will feel good    
 because of your pleasantness”).  My master and teacher, the Gaon
 Tzadik Rabbi Eliyahu Eliezer Dessler ZT”L  said – We would have
 thought  that  this teaching  should have come  from the  mouth of   .א רמאמ
 Hillel – who in fact said “Be a person who loves peace and pursues
 peace”  –  and  not  from  the  mouth  of  Shammai  whose  approach
 to life’s framework is ‘strict law.’  Rather, from the fact that it is   ה ָב ֲה ַא ָה תוֹדוֹס ְי
 Shammai’s teaching we learn that ‘strict law’ specifically demands
 that a person presents to the world (meaning, to always show on his
 face and in his attitude) ‘a pleasant demeanor,’ as if “This is what    תי ִע ְב ִט  ה ָב ֲה ַא  ד ַצּ ִמ  וֹתּ ְשׁ ִא  בֹה ֱא ֶל  ל"ַז ֲח  ת ַנ ָוּ ַכּ  ןי ֵא ֶשׁ  רוּר ָבוּ"
 I owe to everyone since they are entitled to it.”  But if my attitude
 was strict and sad, then in all likelihood I would be a pain to other    אוּה  ךְוּר ָבּ  ֶּד ָקּ ַה  .'וּכ ְו  "םי ִר ֵב ֲח ת ַב ֲה ַא גוּסּ ִמ א ָלּ ֶא ,םי ִשׁ ָנּ ַל
 people.
 16
              תּלּ ֻע ְׁ ַה ל ָכ ְל תּרוֶּ ְתוּ םי ֶפ ָח ְדּ ם ָד ָא ָבּ  ַעי ֶבּ ְט ֶה וי ָמ ֲח ַר בֹר ְבּ
 It is written in Sefer Orchot Chayim authored by the Rosh (section
 #57) “You should not display an angry face towards passers-by, and    ּל ֵֶי ְו ,ב ֵע ָר אוּה - לֹכ ֱא ִל ף ַח ַדּ ּל ֵֶי .ם ִה ָבּ םיֶיוּל ְתּ ויָיּ ַח ִֶ
 instead greet everyone with a face that is shining and upbeat.”  I    ֵֶי .םי ֶמ ָע ְט י ֵני ֶמ ל ָכ ְבּ םי ֶע ָט אוּה ל ִכֹא ָה י ֶכּ ,ל ִכֹא ְל ה ָרוֶּ ְתּ ם ַגּ
 must greet pleasantly not only those people who come to my house,    ה ָב ֵר ֲע ַו ה ָרוּת ְמ ם ַגּ אי ֶה ּת ָנ ְֶוּ ,ףֵי ָע אוּה - פֶֹי ֶל ף ַח ַדּ ם ָד ָא ְל
 but even while I am walking in the street I have to pay attention that
 the expression on my face is pleasant in order not to cause pain to    ד ַצּ ֶמ  ר ַר  ה ִלּ ֵא ָה  תּלּ ֻע ְׁ ַה  ת ִא  תֹוֹש ֲע ַל  ךְי ֶר ָצ  הָי ָה  וּלּ ֶא  .ּל
 passers-by who see me as they come and go.   ם ָד ָא י ֵנ ְבּ בֹר וּי ָה ,םיֶיּ ַח ַה םוּיּ ֶר ְל תּצוּח ְנ פ ֵה ִֶ ,ל ִכ ֵשּׂ ַה ת ַנ ָב ֲה

 That being so, then by a simple logical deduction it is absolutely   .ה ָנ ֵֶ ר ִסֹח ְו ה ָנוּז ְתּ ת ַתּ ֶמ םי ֶת ֵמ
 forbidden to display a sad and distraught face inside the home, as the
 Rambam says, rather we must constantly work to display a pleasant
              תּרוֶּ ְתוּ םי ֶפ ָח ְדּ פ ֵדּ ַע ְל ם ָד ָא ָה פ ֶמ ת ִֶ ִרּדּ ךְ ַר ָבּ ְתֶי 'ה תַדוֹבֲע

              פֶֹי ֶל ְו לֹכ ֱא ִל - 'ה ת ַדּב ֲע ל ִֶ ל ָגּ ְע ַמּ ַל ם ָתּא סי ֶנ ְכ ַה ְלוּ ,ה ִלּ ֵא
 16.  It  is  said  in  Sefer  Yere’im  (in  the  section  “The  Pillar  of  Fear  of
 Heaven,” paragraph #51) “Just as there is oppression in the choice of    םיֶיּ ַח  ח ַרֹא ְבּ  ר ַמ ֱא ִנּ ִֶ  י ֶפ ְכּ  ,'ה  ת ַדּב ֲע ַל  אי ֶר ָבּ  ּתּי ֱה  פ ַע ַמ ְל
 words, there is oppression by an Evil Eye when displaying a sour face,
 an evil face that is dictated by the heart.”   ךְ ָכ ְו ."םֶי ַמ ֶָ ם ֵֶ ְל וּי ְהֶי וי ָתּנ ָוּ ַכּ ל ָכּ ִֶ" :ּמ ְֶוּ ,א"לר פ ָמי ֶס




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