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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 2 - Lesson 7 א רמאמ - י ֶנ ֵֶ ר ִר ִׁ
is more in need of encouragement and support. Our Chachamim ,ה ָמ ָח ְל ֶמ י ֵא ְצּי ל ִֶ תּיּ ֶֶ ָר ָׁ י ֵתּ ְֶ ֵֶי :םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ַה ת ִא ריִבְּסַנ
instituted specific boundaries and limits during this time to safeguard
this couple not to violate any of the Torah’s prohibitions. But the ת ֶַ ָר ָפ ְבּ .א ֵצ ֵת י ֶכּ ת ֶַ ָר ָפ ְבּ ת ַח ַא ְו ,םי ֶט ְפֶֹ ת ֶַ ָר ָפ ְבּ ת ַח ַא
husband must understand clearly that specifically at this time he הּ ָח ָר ְל אלֹ ְו ה ָשּׁ ֶא שׂ ַר ֵא ר ִֶ ֲא ֶי ֶא ָה י ֶמוּ" :ר ַמ ֱא ִנ ]'ז ,'כ[ םי ֶט ְפֶֹ
must devote more attention to her needs and to empathize with her
in her situation, and he should not minimize his conversation with ."ה ָנּ ִח ָקֶּי ר ֵח ַא ֶי ֶא ְו ה ָמ ָח ְל ֶמּ ַבּ תוּמָי פ ִׁ ,ּתי ֵב ְל בוֶָּי ְו ךְ ֵלֵי
her in those areas that are permitted in order to ease the weight of פֶי ַד ֲע ַו ה ָשּׁ ֶא ֶ ֵדּ ַרְיּ ִֶ י ֶמ וּנְי ַה ,פי ֶֶוּדּ ֶר ם ֵה ה ָרּתּ ַה ֵמ פי ֶסוּר ֵא
her emotional state of health.
ת ִכ ִל ָלּ ֶמ רוּט ָׁ - ה ָׁ ֻח ְל הּ ָתּא סי ֶנ ְכ ֶה אלֹ פֶי ַד ֲע - הּ ָח ָר ְל אלֹ
“Do not speak to her in a tone that is general or ambiguous,
rather speak to her in a tone that is direct and clear.” It is ,ה ָמ ָח ְל ֶמ יֹ ֵשּע ְל רֹז ֲע ַל אוּה בָיּ ַח ל ָב ֲא .ג ֵר ָהֵי א ָמּ ִֶ ,תי ֶז ֲח ַה ל ִא
possible that the intent of the Chazon Ish is that he should not speak םֶי ַמ פי ֶר ְׁ ַס ְמוּ פי ֶר ְזּח ְו" :]א"ע ג"מ[ ה ָטּס ְבּ ה ָנ ְֶ ֶמּ ַבּ ר ַמ ֱא ִנ ְכּ
to her in vague terms as one would speak to a stranger, rather he י ֵכ ְרּע ל ָכּ ם ֶע א ֵצּי אוּה פ ֵכ ָל ."םי ֶכ ָר ְדּ ַה ת ִא פי ֶנ ְקּ ַת ְמוּ פּז ָמוּ
should speak clearly to her.
ר ַר א ָלּ ִא ,י ֶתּ ְמ ַח ְל ֶמּ ַה ץ ָמ ֲא ַמּ ַה ֵמ רוּט ָׁ ּני ֵא י ֶכּ ,ה ָמ ָח ְל ֶמּ ַה
.תי ֶז ֲח ַה ל ִא ת ִכ ִל ָלּ ֶמ
אֹ ָש ָנּ ִֶ י ֶמ ל ַע ת ִר ִבּ ַד ְמ ]'ה ד"כ[ א ֵצ ֵת י ֶכ ְבּ הָיּ ֶנ ְשּׁ ַה הָשׁרָָפַּה
Chapter 2 - Lesson 7 אלֹ ,ה ֶָ ָד ֲח ה ָשּׁ ֶא ֶי ֶא ח ַקֶּי י ֶכּ" :ה ָׁ ֻח ְל הּ ָסי ֶנ ְכ ֶה ִֶ - ה ָשּׁ ֶא
ה ָנ ֶָ ּתי ֵב ְל הִי ְהֶי י ֶר ָנ ,ר ָב ָדּ ל ָכ ְל וי ָל ָע רֹב ֲעַי אלֹ ְו ,א ָב ָצּ ַבּ א ֵצֵי
The partnership of a wife. :ה ָנ ְֶ ֶמּ ַבּ ם ֶָ ר ַמ ֱא ִנ וי ָל ָע ."ח ָר ָל ר ִֶ ֲא ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ת ִא ח ַמֹּ ֶש ְו ת ַח ַא
פי ֶר ְׁ ַס ְמ פי ֵא ...ּת ָסוּר ֲא ת ִא א ֵשּׂנּ ַה ...פ ָמּר ְמּ ֶמ פי ֶז ָז פי ֵא ִֶ וּלּ ֵא"
“Tell her when you are leaving and where you are going – פֶּ ְל ת ִא י" ֶֶ ַר ֶ ֵר ֵׁ ךְ ָכ ְו ,"םי ֶכ ָר ְדּ ַה ת ִא פי ֶנ ְקּ ַת ְמ פי ֵא ְו םֶי ַמ
and upon returning tell her what you did, and so too tell her
even small things.” Here we have been given an additional great אלֹ ,א ָב ָצּ ַה ךְ ִרֹצ אוּה ִֶ - "ר ָב ָדּ ל ָכ ְל וי ָל ָע רֹב ֲעַי אלֹ ְו" :רוּס ָׁ ַה
fundamental rule by the Gaon on how to build a close “relationship,” ."םי ֶכ ָר ְדּ פ ֵקּ ַת ְל אלֹ ְו פּז ָמוּ םֶי ַמ ר ֵׁ ַס ְל
namely one must include his wife as a partner in all of his endeavors,
big and also small. When the husband leaves the house to attend to י ֶר ָנ" ת ַבּח תוּבי ֶֶ ֲח ת ִא וּנ ָתּא ת ִד ִמּ ַל ְמ ה ֶָּד ְקּ ַה וּנֵתרָוֹתּ
his business he should not think “What does this have to do with my - "ח ָר ָל ר ִֶ ֲא ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ת ִא ח ַמֹּ ֶש ְו ת ַח ַא ה ָנ ֶָ ּתי ֵב ְל הִי ְהֶי
wife?!” From now on going forward everything is in partnership.
The Gaon Chazon Ish is teaching us one must constantly address
this partnership by telling his wife where he is going, and when he 6. Sanctified her as his wife by giving her a ring or something of value
returns tell her what he did. in front of witnesses and saying to her “Behold you are sanctified to
me with this ring according to the laws of Moses and Israel.” (Rabbi
The Gaon Chazon Ish elaborated on this by adding a fundamental Yosef Baraka)
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