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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 2 - Lesson 1 ז רמאמ - י ֶנ ֵֶ ר ִר ִׁ
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closer more personal manner in which a ‘respectful relationship’ has ל ַע ַבּ ַה אי ֶב ֵמּ ִֶ תּנ ָתּ ַמּ ַה ר ַר אלֹ .םי ֶנּ ַט ְר םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ֶמ םי ֶנ ְב ֶנ
no place; laughing and light easy conversation is more desirable and
will do more to establish a bonded relationship than serious respect ת ַמיֹ ֶש ת ִא תּא ְטּ ַב ְמ תּנֶּ תּיּ ֻנ ְמּ ַדּ ְז ֶה ְל פ ַמ ְז ֶל פ ַמ ְזּ ֶמ ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ְל
and addressing the person with great honor. One must work hard - "םי ֶנּ ַט ְקּ ַה םי ֶר ָב ְדּ ַה" א ָר ְו ַדּ א ָלּ ִא ,ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ְל ּת ָכ ָר ֲע ַה ְו ּבּ ֶל
to conduct oneself in a way that demonstrates feelings of closeness ל ִא ס ָנ ְכ ֶנ ְו תֶי ַבּ ַה ֵמ א ֵצּי אוּה םי ֶנ ָׁ ת ַע ָבּ ַה ּזי ֵא ְבוּ םי ֶלּ ֶמ וּלּ ֵא ְבּ
with an attitude of sensitivity and paying attention to what your
partner is saying comparable to the relationship between a person’s הֹׁ ָהי ִל ֵא ה ִנּׁ אוּה ה ָבּ ֶח ת ַע ָבּ ַה ּזי ֵא ְבוּ םי ֶלּ ֶמ וּלּ ֵא ְבּ ,תֶי ַבּ ַה
right hand and left hand which is not something external, rather it is .םּיּ ַה ךְ ִֶ ִמ ְבּ ם ֶָ ָו
one and the same thing. Don’t speak to her in an ambiguous way,
rather speak to her in a direct way, when you are leaving tell her םיֶיּ ֶדי ֶמ ְתּ תּי ְה ֶל םי ֶכי ֶר ְצ ם ֵה ם ַגּ "ב ֵל ַח ֵמֹּ ַש ְל קוּזּ ִח י ֵר ְב ִד ְבוּ"
where you are going, and when you return say what you did; and in
a similar way with all of the seemingly unimportant things that you ר ִֶ ֲא ֵמ ר ֵתּי ת ִל ִעּׁ ם ֶָ ָו הֹׁ ה ָלּ ֶמ - םּיּ ַה ךְ ִֶ ִמ ְבּ םי ֶרוּז ְפוּ
do. Bonding also comes with words of encouragement that make .פ ַמ ְז ֶל פ ַמ ְזּ ֶמ םי ֶר ָב ְדּ תוּכי ֶר ֲא
her happy, words that gladden her heart. In all of these things one
must ask Hashem for mercy, as it is written (Mishle 3:6) “In all of אוּה ְו וּה ֵע ָד ךָי ֶכ ָר ְדּ ל ָכ ְבּ 'וּכ ְו וּר ְמ ָא ֶשׁ וֹמ ְכּ ,םי ִמ ֲח ַר שׁ ֵקּ ַב ְל ךְי ִר ָצ ְו"
your ways…and He will guide you to a straight path.”
אוּה לֹכּ ַה ִֶ רי ֶכּ ַה ְל ם ָד ָא ָה בָיּ ַח הֹ ִש ֲע ַמ ל ָכ ְבּ ."ךָי ֶתוֹח ְר ָא ר ֵשּׁ ַי ְי

.םֶי ַמ ֶָ ר ִז ֵע ְל ה ָלּ ֶפ ְת ֶבּ תּנ ְפ ֶל ךְי ֶר ָצ וי ָל ֵא ְו ,ךְ ַר ָבּ ְתֶי 'ה י ֵדי ֶבּ
ת ַע ַד ְבּ יוּל ָתּ אוּה ר ִֶ ֲא ַכּ ,תֶי ַבּ ַה תּדּסְי פַי ְנ ֶב ְבּ פ ֵכּ ִֶ ל ָכּ ֶמ

ת ֶַ ָקּ ַב ְבּ ךְ ַר ָבּ ְתֶי 'ה ל ִא תּנ ְפ ֶל ךְי ֶר ָצ - ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ת ַע ַד ְבּ - םי ֶר ֵח ֲא

ּחי ֶל ְצַי ְו ,אוּה ִֶ ב ָצּ ַמ ל ָכ ְבּ ה ָנּכ ְנ ה ָע ֵד ְבּ ּתּא פ ֵנּחְיּ ִֶ םי ֶמ ֲח ַר
Chapter 2 - Lesson 1 .ּתוּל ְדּ ַתּ ְֶ ֶה ְבּ

Making your wife happy. 

Our master, the Gaon Chazon Ish adds an additional word to
the mitzvah of “making your wife happy” – only one word –
“mandatory.” His intent is that in the first year of marriage the
exemption from serving in the army and assisting in the logistical
support of troops is not a privilege – meaning, the exemption is not
merely an extra benefit during the Chatan’s first year of marriage,
rather, it is a mandatory obligation. This obligation to make his
wife happy is not any less important than everyone else’s obligation

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