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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander
A Peaceful Home
Chapter 1 - Lesson 4
Chapter 1 - Lesson 4
A practical approach to understanding the role of a
woman’s emotions.
Chazal have pointed out an advantage to the control of emotions
(Gemara Berachot 10b) “A woman perceives guests more acutely
than a man.” In order to decide whether or not it is appropriate
to extend hospitality to that guest one must know him thoroughly
to gather information about him, and based on that information
evaluate it and make a decision. However, the wife’s decision rests
on her feelings and emotions, and she has no need to be guided
by the rules of logic. She is very likely to say after only a brief
meeting – It’s worthwhile to get acquainted with this person, or
the opposite. If she was asked “Could you explain the rationale
for your decision,” she would answer “I have a feeling about this”
– meaning, she made her decision based on her intuition. In this
context as well the wife is a helpmate to her husband –with her
emotional advantage she compliments her husband.
Because of her emotion-based sense of intuition she has a simple
faith in Hashem which is pure and rooted in the depths of her feelings,
and she is not guided by analytical logic. This is a quote from
the sefer Oznayim L’Torah authored by the Gaon Rabbi Zalman
Sorotzkin ZT”L “Feelings of the heart and an understanding that is
based on them, in this regard a woman is superior to a man because
a woman’s feelings are more acutely developed than the feelings
of a man. A woman with an understanding heart and developed
feelings is more capable than a man to know The-One-Who-Spoke-
and-Created-the-World.” With her pure faith that is an integral
part of her nature the wife more than her husband will stand strong
and will not collapse in times of the pressures of the difficulties of
life’s tests, as Chazal have said (in Gemara Sotah 11b) that in Egypt
the women gave strength to the men – and because of the merit of
the righteous women of that generation we were redeemed out of
Egypt.”
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# רדנלדירפ םייח ברה
ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
ג רמאמ - פֶּא ֶר ר ִר ִׁ
ל" ַצ ַז ט ְנ ַלּ ַסּ ֶמ י"רגה ?ה ִלּ ֵא ל ָכ ְבּ ת ַח ַרּט אי ֶה ה ָמ לי ֶב ְֶ ֶבוּ י ֶמ
אוּה םי ֶע ָט אוּה ה ָל ְשּׁ ֶבּ ִֶ ר ָר ָמּ ַה ִֶ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָל ר ַמּל :ר ֵמּא הָי ָה
ם" ַבּ ְמ ַר ָה ל ַע ּלּ ִֶ ץוּר ֵתּ ַה ִֶ ה ָבי ְֶֶי ֶאֹר ְל םי ֶר ְמּא ִֶ ּמ ְכּ
רוּב ֲע ה ָני ֶכ ְמ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ִֶ "רוּע ֶשּׁ" ַה וּה ִז - ר ָר ָמּ ַה י ֶכּ ,א ָל ְפ ֶנ אוּה
ל ַע ה ָר ָע ִה ַעי ֶמ ְֶ ֶה ת ַח ַא ם ַע ַׁ אלֹ ף ַא ִֶ ל ַע ַב ְבּ הֹ ִש ֲע ַמ !הּ ָל ְע ַבּ
ה ָסי ֶנ ְכ ֶה ּתּ ְֶ ֶא ִֶ ה ָר ָר ת ַח ַא ם ַע ַׁ .ע ַר ְל אלֹ ְו בּט ְל אלֹ ,ל ִכֹא ָה
ה ִפ ָקּ ַה ת ִא ה ָת ֶָ ל ַע ַבּ ַה .ר ָכּ ֻס םּר ְמ ֶבּ ח ַל ִמ ה ִפ ָקּ ַה ל ִפ ֵס ךְּת ְל
אלֹ ה ִז ָכּ ר ָב ָדּ וּלּ ֶפ ֲא - ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה תוּנ ָל ְב ַס ה ָע ְר ָׁ פא ָכּ .בי ֶג ָה ְל י ֶל ְבּ
!?ת ַח ַרּט אי ֶה ה ָמ לי ֶב ְֶ ֶבּ פ ֵכּ ם ֶא ,ּל ת ַׁ ְכ ֶא
.ה ָרּתּ י ֵר ְב ֶד ְל ה ָחי ֶשּׂ ַה ךְ ִֶ ִמ ְבּ םי ֶר ְבּע ,םי ֶֶ ָגּ ְפ ֶנ םיִכרְֵבַאֶשְׁכּ
ת ִבּ ִס ֻמ ה ָחי ֶשּׂ ַה ִֶ ֵֶי ,תֶּ ָגּ ְפ ֶנ ם ִהי ֵתֶּ ְנּ ִֶ ְכּ ,א ָסי ֶגּ ךְ ַדי ֶא ֵמ
םי ֶל ָע ְבּ ַה וּל ְכּ ַתּ ְסֶי ל ַא .פ ִהי ֵני ֵבּ תּגּ ֻע ְו םי ֶל ָכ ֲא ַמ י ֵמ ְֶ ְר ֶמ ת ַפ ָל ְח ַה ְל
ה ִז י ֵר ֲה "!?ה ָחיֹ ֶש ְל אֹ ֵשּנ ה ִז ם ֶא ַה" :וּרי ֶעָי ּא ,ר ָב ָדּ ַה ל ַע זוּב ְבּ
תוּבי ֶֶ ֲח ַו פָי ְנ ֶע אֹצ ְמ ֶל פ ָתּא ךְ ַר ָבּ ְתֶי 'ה פ ַנ ָח ּבּ ִֶ םי ֶֶ ָנּ ַה ע ַב ִט
.רוּׁ ֶס פ ִה ָבּ אֹצ ְמ ֶל ְו ,תֶי ַבּ ַה תּדּב ֲע ַבּ
םי ֶד ָח ְׁ ַה ם ֵה ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ל ִצ ֵא ֶ ִג ִר ָה ת ַטי ֶל ְשּׁ ֶמ ַע ֵבּנּ ַה ף ָסּנ רָבָדּ
ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ְו ,ה ָתְי ַבּ ַה ַעי ֶגּ ַה ְל ר ֵח ַא ְמ ד ִלִיּ ַה ּא ל ַע ַבּ ַה .םי ֶנּשּׁ ַה
ַעי ֶגּ ַמ ל ַע ַבּ ַה ִֶ ְכּ .ר ֵתּי ְבּ ַעוּר ָגּ ַל ר ָב ְכּ ת ִֶ ִֶּח ְו ד ַח ַׁ ֶמ ה ָגּמ ְנ
ל ַע תּנוּל ְת ֶבּ וי ָנ ָׁ ת ִא ת ִל ִבּ ַר ְמ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ,ה ָתְי ַבּ ַה ףּס ףּס
ז ֵגּ ַר ְת ֶה ְל ל ַע ַבּ ַה לוּל ָע ל ֵצּ ַנ ְת ֶה ְל םּר ְמ ֶבּ .הּ ָל ם ַר ָגּ ִֶ םי ֶד ָח ְׁ ַה
ר ַׁ ְס ֶמ ה ָר ָר י ֵר ֲה .םי ֶד ָח ְׁ ַל תּיּ ֶנּי ְג ִה תּבּ ֶס פי ֵא י ֵר ֲה , ָהי ִל ָע
ּא דוּמּ ֶל ְבּ וּר ְבּ ֶד ְו ,וּה ִֶי ֶמ ֶ ַג ָׁ י ֶכּ ךְ ִר ִדּ ַבּ ב ֵכּ ַע ְת ֶה ִֶ םי ֶמ ָע ְׁ
ר ֵתּי ְבּ ַעוּר ָגּ ַל ֶֶֹ ֲח ַל ה ָמ ָל ְו .ה ִׁ ֻצ ְמ ַה ֵמ ר ָח ֻא ְמ ּדוּמּ ֶל ת ִא ר ַמ ָגּ
ה ָנּ ַט ְר אי ֶה ךְ ָכ ְל תוּרי ֶב ְסּ ַה י ֵר ֲה ,ךְ ִר ִדּ ַבּ ה ָנוּא ְתּ ה ָת ְר ָקּ ִֶ -
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