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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander # רדנלדירפ םייח ברה 280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-ab | 2 - B | 18-08-28 | 11:06:24 | SR:-- | Cyan 280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-ab | 2 - B | 18-08-28 | 11:06:24 | SR:-- | Black 280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-ab | 2 - B | 18-08-28 | 11:06:24 | SR:-- | Magenta #280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-a
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 1 - Lesson 3 ד רמאמ - פֶּא ֶר ר ִר ִׁ

would say – Telling your wife the soup she cooked is delicious is .ד רמאמ
like telling a Rosh Yeshiva that his answer to a question posed on
the Rambam was phenomenal, because the “soup” that she prepared תי ִשׁ ְג ִר ָה ה ָשׁי ִגּ ַבּ ֶשׁ תוּפי ִד ֲע ָה
for her husband is to her the same as “the Rabbi’s lecture” is to
you. There was a story about a husband who never once made ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה" :]ב"ע 'י תּכ ָר ְבּ[ ֶ ִג ִר ָה ת ַטי ֶל ְֶ ֶל ה ָל ֲע ַמ וּנְיּ ֶצ ל"ַזרַ
any comment about the food cooked by his wife, neither praise
nor criticism. Once he asked his wife for a cup of coffee and she ב ֵר ָר ְל יא ַד ְכּ ם ֶא ַעֹבּ ְר ֶל י ֵד ְכּ ."ֶי ֶא ָה פ ֶמ ר ֵתּי פי ֶח ְרּא ְבּ ת ִר ִכּ ַמ
intentionally put a teaspoon of salt into it instead of a teaspoon of ,וי ָל ָע םי ֶנוּת ְנ ףֹס ֱא ִל ,בּר ָקּ ֶמ ּרי ֶכּ ַה ְל ךְי ֶר ָצ י ֶנּל ְׁ ַח ֵרּא
sugar. The husband drank the coffee without any reaction. At that
point his wife lost her patience, saying – He doesn’t care even about תי ֵח ְנוּמ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ת ַט ָל ְח ַה ם ָלוּא .טי ֶל ְח ַה ְלוּ לֹר ְֶ ֶל ם ִהי ֶפ ְלוּ
something like this, so why am I bothering to cook good meals or י ֵלוּקּ ֶֶ י ֵדְי ל ַע ת ִכ ִר ְד ֻמ תּי ְה ֶל ךְ ִרֹצ הּ ָל פי ֵא ְו ,ֶ ִג ִר ָה י ֵדְי ל ַע
anything else?!
ב ֵר ָר ְל יא ַד ְכּ - ה ָר ָצ ְר תוּר ֵכּ ִה י ֵר ֲח ַא ר ַמּל ה ָלוּל ֲע אי ֶה ְו .ל ִכ ֵשּׂ ַה
When the students in a Kollel meet their topic of discussion
invariably turns to words of Torah. By contrast, when their wives ת ִא ר ֵמּ ַנ ְל י ֶל ְכוּתּ ם ֶא ַה" :הּ ָתּא ל ַא ְֶ ֶנ ם ֶא .ךְ ִפ ִה ְל ּא ,ה ִז ם ָד ָא
meet their conversation sometimes shifts to a discussion of trading ֶּוּר ֵׁ ז" ַע ַל ְבּ ."ּז ָכּ ה ֶָ ָגּ ְר ַה י ֶל ֵֶי" :ה ִנ ֲע ַתּ אי ֶה "?ךְ ֵת ָט ָל ְח ַה
menus and recipes of various foods and cakes. Their husbands
should not view that conversation as being trivial, or remark to י ֵדְי ל ַע - ּדּ ְג ִנ ְכּ ר ִז ֵע הּ ָנּ ֶה ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ה ִז פָי ְנ ֶע ְבּ ם ַגּ .הָי ְצי ֶאוּט ְני ֶא
them “Is that all you have to talk about?!” because that is the nature .ֶי ֶא ָה ת ִא ה ָמי ֶל ְֶ ַמ אי ֶה ֶ ִג ִר ָה תוּפי ֶד ֲע
of women – as that is the gift that Hashem Yitbarach graced them ,ה ָמי ֶמ ְתּ ה ָנוּמ ֱא ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָל ֵֶי תי ֶֶ ְג ֶר ָה ה ֶָי ֶגּ ַה תַמֲחֵמ
with, to find purpose and importance to the work of the house and
to find satisfaction in it. .ל ִכ ֵשּׂ ַה ַחוּתּ ֶנ ךְ ִר ִדּ ת ִר ִבּע ה ָני ֵא ְו ,ֶ ִג ִר ָה י ֵקּ ַמ ֲע ַמ ְבּ ת ִֶ ִר ְֶ ֻמּ ִֶ

Something more which emerges from a woman being controlled by פי ֶר ְצּרּס פ ָמ ְל ַז 'ר ג"הרה ל ִֶ ה ָרּתּ ַל םֶי ַנ ְז ָא ר ִפ ֵס פֶּ ְל ה ִז
her emotions is the fear of unexpected changes in normal routine. ה ָלּע ה ִז ר ָב ָד ְבוּ ,ּבּ הָיוּל ְתּ ַה ה ָני ֶבּ ַה ְו ב ֵלּ ַבּ ִֶ ֶ ִג ִר ָה" :ל" ַצ ַז
Her husband or her child is late coming home and she is devastated
by fear and already imagines that the worst has happened. When ר ֵתּי ה ֵבּ ְר ַה םי ֶח ָתּ ֻפ ְמ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה תֶּ ְג ֶר י ֶכּ ,ֶי ֶא ָה ל ַע ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה
her husband eventually arrives home his wife greets him with ת ִל ִגּ ֻס ְמ ח ָתּ ֻפ ְמ ֶ ִג ִר ְבוּ פי ֶב ֵמ ב ֵל ְבּ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ...ֶי ֶא ָה תֶּ ְג ֶר ֵמ
complaints over the fright he caused her. Instead of excusing
himself, very often the husband responds with annoyance at her י ֵדְי ל ַע ."ם ָלּע ָה הָי ָה ְו ר ַמ ָא ִֶ י ֶמ ת ִא רי ֶכּ ַה ְל ֶי ֶא ָה ֵמ ר ֵתּי
that her fears are irrational. Very often it can happen that he was דֹמ ֲע ַל ת ִל ִגּ ֻס ְמ ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ,ע ַב ִטּ ַבּ ת ִנ ִגּ ֻע ְמ ַה ּזּ ַה ה ָמי ֶמ ְתּ ַה ה ָנוּמ ֱא ָה
delayed returning home because he happened to meet a friend and
they spoke in learning, or he finished his learning session later וּר ְמ ָא ִֶ י ֶפ ְכּ ,ֶי ֶא ָה ֵמ ר ֵתּי םי ֶֶ ָר תּנּי ְס ֶנ ְבּ ץ ַח ַל י ֵנּ ַמ ְז ֶבּ
than he anticipated, and so why should she think the worst has םי ֶֶ ָנ תוּכ ְז ֶבּ" - םי ֶֶ ָנ ֲא ָה ת ִא םי ֶֶ ָנּ ַה וּד ְדּע םֶי ַר ְצ ֶמ ְבּ ִֶ ל" ַז ַר
happened or that some road accident happened?! The likelihood
of that happening is very small and she should not have worried א"י ה ָטּס[ "םֶי ַר ְצ ֶמּ ֶמ ל ֵא ָרֹ ְשֶי וּל ֲא ְג ֶנ רּדּ ּתּא ְבּ ִֶ תּיּ ֶנ ָר ְד ֶצ
about that. However, from her perspective a wife is annoyed at her .]ב"ע

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