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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander # רדנלדירפ םייח ברה 2
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 1 - Lesson 5 ג רמאמ - פֶּא ֶר ר ִר ִׁ
It is appropriate to take into consideration the pure faith of a woman. םי ֶס ְפּתּ םי ֶר ָד ְסּ ַה פי ֵא ְו ,ּמ ְצ ַע ְל י ַח ִֶ ה ָבי ְֶֶי רוּח ָבּ פ ַמ ְזּ ֶמ אלֹ
For example, a wife is not always capable of understanding that her
husband got up late in the morning and he did not go to his regular ע ַדֵי ל ָב ֲא .ּז ה ֶָ ָד ֲח תוּאי ֶצ ְמ ֶל ל ֵגּ ַתּ ְס ֶה ְל בוֶּ ָח םּר ָמ ּלי ֶב ְֶ ֶבּ
minyan because he had been learning late the night before, or she .תֶי ַבּ ַה פַי ְנ ֶבּ דוּסֶּי ְו תי ֶֶא ֵר ְל אי ֶה ת ַח ַר ְכ ֻמ ּז תוּל ְגּ ַתּ ְס ֶה ִֶ א ָנ
is not aware of some other similar circumstance that logically he
might be right in what he does, but nevertheless she won’t sincerely די ֶמ ֲע ַה ְל ם ֶא ַה ,תֶי ַבּ ַה ת ִא ר ֵדּ ַס ְל ךְי ֵא ּתּא ל ַא ְֶ ֶתּ ּתּ ְֶ ֶא םִא
believe him because her intuition is telling her otherwise.
:הּ ָל ר ַמאֹי ל ַא - י ֶב ָר ֲע ַמּ ַה ּא י ֶמּר ְדּ ַה רי ֶקּ ַבּ פּנ ְז ֶמּ ַה ת ִא
אוּה ה ִז ָבּ י ֶכּ ,ה ָצּר ְתּ ַא ִֶ י ֶפ ְכּ י ֶשׂ ֲע ַתּ ,בוֶּ ָח אלֹ ה ִז י ֶלי ֶב ְֶ ֶבּ
ר ֵתּי ְבּ ל ָב ֲא ,הּ ָלּ ִֶ י ֶפֹיּ ַה ֶוּח ְל םי ֶבוֶּ ֲח ה ִלּ ֵא םי ֶר ָב ְדּ .הּ ָבּ ַע ֵגּׁ
אלֹ ל ָל ְכ ֶבּ ּל ְו - ּנּצ ְר ת ַעי ֶבֹ ְש ֶל תֶי ַבּ ַה ת ִא ר ֵדּ ַס ְל הּ ָל בוֶּ ָח
Chapter 1 - Lesson 5
אוּה ְו ,ה ָנוּמ ְתּ ה ָלּתּ ּא ה ָנּ ֶׁ ּזי ֵא ְבּ ץי ֶצ ָע ה ָמֹ ָש אי ֶה !ת ַׁ ְכ ֶא
Honoring his wife more than himself. .ת ִב ִז ְכ ֻא ְמוּ ת ִל ִכּ ְס ֻת ְמ ּתּ ְֶ ֶא פ ֵכּ ם ֶא .ה ִז ת ִא "ה ִאּר" ּני ֵא ל ָל ְכ ֶבּ
ֶ ִג ִר ְבּ פ ָגּ ֻע ְמ ה ִז ,ם ַע ַט בוּט ְבּ ה ִפָי ֶ ֵבּ ַל ְת ֶה ְל ת ִב ִהּא ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה
Chazal taught that the husband’s obligation is to take into .וי ָני ֵע ְבּ פ ֵח אֹצ ְמ ֶל - הּ ָל ְע ַבּ פ ַע ַמ ְל תאֹז הֹ ָשּע אי ֶה ,הּ ָלּ ִֶ י ֶפֹיּ ַה
consideration the emotional feelings of his wife from a Baraytah
(in Gemara Yevamot, towards the bottom of page 62b) “It has been ה ָל ְמֹ ֶש ת ִֶ ִבּל אי ֶה ר ִֶ ֲא ַכּ הּ ָל ְע ַבּ ֶמ ה ָבוּג ְת ֶל ה ָׁ ַצ ְמ אי ֶה פ ֵכ ָל
taught by Our Rabbis – One who loves his wife as he loves himself .ה ֶָ ָד ֲח
and honors her \ and respects her more than himself…regarding this
husband the text says (Eyyov 5:24) “and know that your home will ל ָכּ ה ֶָ ָר הּ ָני ֵא רי ֶע ָצּ ַה ל ַע ַבּ ַה לי ֶב ְֶ ֶבּ ה ָדּב ֲע ָה ,ד ַח ְפ ֶנ לַא
be peaceful.” Rashi there explains the words “more than himself”
as “because the emotional embarrassment of a woman is more ,ה ִלּ ֵא םי ֶר ָב ְד ֶבּ ה ָנ ָב ֲה ה ִנ ְרֶי ב ֵל ת ַמיֹ ֶש ת ָצ ְר ֶבוּ בּט פּצ ָר ְבּ .ךְ ָכּ
painful than the embarrassment of a man,” to teach us that a woman ה ִז ל ָכּ .ּתּ ְֶ ֶא פּצ ְר ת ַעי ֶבֹ ְש ֶל בי ֶג ָה ְל ךְי ֵא ְו ר ַמּל ה ָמ ע ַדֵי ְו
is more emotionally fragile than a man and that her feelings are hurt
much more easily than his feelings. ת ִא לי ֵע ְל וּנא ֵב ֵה י ֵר ֲה ַו .ּתּ ְֶ ֶא י ֵׁ ַל ְכּ ד ִס ִח ַה ת ַדּב ֲע ַבּ לוּל ָכּ
The measure of a person’s conduct with others is as Hillel expressed ה ָתּ ַא וּלּ ֶא ְכּ ךָ ְמ ְצ ַע ת ִא ה ֵא ְר :ךְ ָמּ ֶע י ֶנ ָע ִה ת ִא" :י" ֶֶ ַר י ֵר ְב ֶדּ
his rule (in Gemara Shabbat 31a) “What is distasteful to you do ר ִֶ ֲא ַכּ ר ַר ,ם ָל ְֶ ֻמ ד ִס ִח תֹוֹש ֲע ַל ר ֶָ ְפ ִא ,רֹמא ֵל ."י ֶנ ָע ִה
not do to your fellow Jew,” and from this negative statement one
can infer a positive statement – “What is not offensive to me I can רוּׁ ֶס ֵֶי ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָל .ת ַלוּזּ ַה ל ִֶ ּת ֶָוּח ְתוּ ּב ָצּ ַמ ְל םי ֶס ָנ ְכ ֶנ
do to my fellow Jew because I can assume that it will also not be .תּחוּר ֲא ַל פ ָח ְל ֻשּׁ ַה ת ַכי ֶר ֲע ,הָיּ ֶפ ֲא ,לוּשּׁ ֶבּ - ח ָבּ ְט ֶמּ ַה ת ַדּב ֲע ֵמ
offensive to him.” However, this rule is not at all applicable to
one’s wife since she is more sensitive than he is. It is for this reason ל ָכ ְל ה ָכ ָר ֲע ַה הּ ָל ְע ַבּ ֶמ ַעֹמ ְֶ ֶל הּ ָרוּב ֲע ַבּ אוּה רוּׁ ֶסּ ַה ר ַקּ ֶע ם ָלוּא
that Chazal ask of us husbands “Honor her more than yourself.” Do לי ֶב ְֶ ֶבּ ,הּ ָמ ְצ ַע ת ִא ת ִל ִאֶּ אי ֶה ,ךְ ָכּ אלֹ ם ֶא .ה ִלּ ֵא ָה תּדּב ֲע ָה
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