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Rabbi Chayim Friedlander # רדנלדירפ םייח ברה 280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-ab | 3 - B | 18-08-28 | 11:06:24 | SR:-- | Cyan 280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-ab | 3 - B | 18-08-28 | 11:06:24 | SR:-- | Black 280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-ab | 3 - B | 18-08-28 | 11:06:24 | SR:-- | Magenta #280818_efi-ab - 280818_efi-a
A Peaceful Home ךלהא םולש יכ תעדיו סרטנוק
Chapter 2 - Lesson 3 ד רמאמ - י ֶנ ֵֶ ר ִר ִׁ

The words of Chazal are extraordinary and need explanation. .ד רמאמ
HaKadosh Baruch Hu said to each limb – Be a modest woman,”
meaning that from the very outset of Creation He implanted within
the woman the character of modesty in each of her limbs. And yet תוּדּ ְח ַא ְת ִה ְל תוּל ְדּ ַתּ ְשׁ ִה - ה ָנוֹשׁא ִר ה ָנ ָשׁ
with all of that “and you rejected My counsel!” How could it be
that the character invested by Hashem into creation did not help
at all, and with all this the limbs identified in the Midrash had a ר ִד ִג ְבּ ּני ֵא יוּצּ ֶר ְל ךְי ֶר ָצּ ִשּׁ ה ַמ ל ָכּ ִֶ ַע ֵבּר ל" ַצ ַז א"ּז ֲח ַה ןרָָמ
character that was the very opposite of the attribute of modesty?!
(The majority of the lessons about modesty (and immodesty) come ֵֶי ה ָנֶּא ֶר ה ָנ ֶָ ְבּ דוּחֶי ְבּ ."ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ם ֶע ה ָחיֹ ֶש ה ִבּ ְר ַתּ ל ַא"
from our holy mothers of previous generations who were on a high ה ָלי ֶטּ ֶה ִֶ ת ִד ִחֻי ְמ ַה ה ָדּב ֲע ָה י ֵר ֲה י ֶכּ ,יוּצ ָר ְו ה ָחיֹ ֶש ְבּ תּבּ ְר ַה ְל
spiritual level, and that being so – then we have to understand that
their faults were extremely subtle when measured against the high ת ִא ח ַמֹּ ֶש ְו" י ֵדְי ל ַע אּב ָל אי ֶה ה ָנֶּא ֶר ה ָנ ֶָ ְבּ וּני ֵל ָע ה ָרּתּ ַה
level of their holiness). רֹ ָש ָב ְל וּי ָה ְו" - גוּזּ ַה י ֵנ ְבּ י ֵנ ְֶ פי ֵבּ תוּדּ ְח ַא ְת ֶה ַה ל ִא "ּתּ ְֶ ֶא

Rather, Chazal are disclosing to us the nature of a woman and the ה ָׁ ֻח י ֵדְי ל ַע א ָלי ֵמּ ֶמ תיֹ ֵש ֲע ַנ הּ ָני ֵא ּז תוּדּ ְח ַא ְת ֶה ."ד ָח ִא
different aspects of her personality which HaKadosh Baruch Hu םי ֶא ָבּ ִֶ גוּזּ ַה י ֵנ ְבּ י ֵנ ְֶ פי ֵבּ תוּד ֲח ַא ְת ֶה רֹצּ ֶל ךְי ֶר ָצ י ֵר ֲה .פי ֶֶוּדּ ֶר ְו
embedded within her in order to prepare her for her life’s mission.
On the one hand she is outward-looking to the environment around ע ַב ִט פי ֵבּ י ֶנֹשּׁ ַה םָיּ ַר ְו ,ה ִנֶּ י ֶפֹא ם ִה ָל ֵֶי ,םי ֶנֶּ םי ֶתּ ָבּ ֶמ
her and she is occupied with the needs of everyday life in this ה ָנ ֶָ ה ֶָּד ְקּ ַה ה ָרּתּ ַה ה ָבי ֶצ ְר ֶה פ ֵכ ָל .ה ָשּׁ ֶא ָה ע ַב ִט ְל ֶי ֶא ָה
physical and instinctive world – in order for her to prepare all of
the needs of her family. (Whereas a man is generally more inward- ה ָר ְר ְח ֶֶ ְו ,"ד ָח ִא רֹ ָש ָב ְל וּי ָה ְו - ה ָרי ֶצְי ַה ת ַנ ָוּ ַכ" ְל אּב ָל ת ַח ַא
looking, to the world of Torah which is a world of inner spirituality). ר ַח ַא ְל ,פ ָבוּמּ ַכּ .ה ָמ ָח ְל ֶמּ ַל ה ָאי ֶצי ֶמ ,תי ֶרוּבּ ֶצ ה ָדּב ֲע ֵמ ל ַע ַבּ ַה ת ִא
However, to offset and balance the woman’s outward-looking nature
HaKadosh Baruch Hu created her from a place on his body that is תוּדּ ְח ַא ְת ֶה י ֶכּ ,ּז ה ָדּב ֲע ַבּ ךְי ֶֶ ְמ ַה ְל ךְי ֶר ָצ ה ָנֶּא ֶר ָה ה ָנ ָשּׁ ַה
hidden, and He embedded modesty into each and every one of her םיֶיוּנּ ֶֶ ְל פ ָתּ ֶנּ ַה ב ָצּ ַמ א ָלּ ִא ,ד ֵמּע ְו ַעוּב ָקּ ִֶ י ֶמ ֲע ַׁ-ד ַח ר ָב ָדּ ּני ֵא
limbs, as it says (Tehilim 45:14) “The entire honor of the King’s א ָלּ ִא 9 7,תוּדּ ְח ַא ְת ֶה ַה ל ִֶ תוּמ ֵל ְֶ ֶל לוּב ְגּ פי ֵא ם ַג ְו ,תּדוּנ ְת ֶל ְו
daughter is her modesty.” Thus, two self-contradicting forces are at
work within a woman.

Here on this point Chazal are transmitting to us an important insight "םי ֶנ ָת ֲח ַל ה ָכ ָר ְד ַה י ֵר ְמ ַא ַמ" ס ֵר ְט ְנוּר ְבּ אי ֶב ֵמ א" ָטי ֶל ְֶ ה ִבּ ְלּו ֶ"רגה .9
into understanding the fundamental emotional needs of a woman. ת ִא ֶי ֶגּ ְד ַה ְל י ֵד ְכּ ה ָרֹ ָש ל ַע וּל ֲא ֶָ ם ָה ָר ְב ַא ל ִא וּא ָבּ ִֶ םי ֶכ ָא ְל ַמּ ַה ִֶ
She talks a lot because she needs to unburden her emotions and tell י" ֶשּׁ ַר ְו ז"פ מ"ב[ "הּ ָל ְע ַבּ ל ַע הּ ָב ְבּ ַח ְל י ֵד ְכּ" ,ל ִהֹא ָבּ אי ֶה ה ֵנּ ֶה - הּ ָתוּעי ֶנ ְצ
others what is on her heart. Chazal (in Gemara Yoma 75a) have said דּע ֵֶי םי ֶֶּד ְקּ ַה תּב ָא ָה ל ִצ ֵא ְו םי ֶנ ֵר ְז גוּז ל ִצ ֵא ם ַגּ ִֶ רֹמא ֵל ]ֶ ָמּ ֻח ַבּ
in commentary on the pasuk (in Mishle 12:25) “A person should י ֵנ ְׁ ֶמ" ]ב"ע א"ל ה ָדּ ֶנ[ וּני ֶצ ָמ ה ִז ךְ ִר ִד ְכּ ."תוּד ֲח ַא ְת ֶה" ַבּ ףי ֶסּה ְל פָי ְנ ֶע
speak-out the worries in his heart,” meaning, “speak it to others,” that ה ָרּתּ ה ָר ְמ ָא ,הּ ָבּ ץ ָר ְו הּ ָבּ לי ֶג ָר ִֶ י ֵנ ְׁ ֶמ ,ה ָע ְב ֶֶ ְל ה ָדּ ֶנ ה ָרּתּ ַה ה ָר ְמ ָא ה ָמ
when emotional pain pressures one’s heart speak-out that emotion הּ ָת ָסי ֶנ ְכּ ת ַע ְֶ ֶכּ הּ ָל ְע ַבּ ל ַע ה ָבי ֶב ֲח א ֵה ְתּ ִֶ י ֵד ְכּ םי ֶמָי ת ַע ְב ֶֶ ה ָא ֵמ ְט א ֵה ְתּ
to someone else and it will ease his pain.” However, a woman has ."ה ָׁ ֻח ְל

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