Page 165 - YOU CAN WIN - SHIV KHERA

RokZRooM Special ! You Can Win by Shiv Khera

he gets an emergency call to operate on an accident victim to save his life. What choice
does he have?

Choosing one does not mean lack of commitment to the other. The process of making a
choice between the two commitments would involve priority, responsibility and duty. Not
keeping one over the other would not make the person feel guilty.
Probably what the surgeon feels like doing is attending his daughter's graduation. It
doesn't matter what he feels like. Commitment involves the 11 elements we talked about
before, whether we feel like it or not.
Keeping commitment shows strength of character. It takes subordinating our desires to
the other person's needs but not his whims and fancies.
Needs are essential, whereas desires are infinite. And in case of conflict of needs, one
has to prioritize responsibilities and duties. In a relationship such as a marriage, two
people are committed to each other. Supposing one develops cancer a year after?
Should one feel cheated? Deprived? Resentful? Blame the other person for ruining his /
her life? That is not commitment. That is just selfishness.
The most painful part of commitment is accepting a breach when it happens. The
commitment goes on if the breach results from an error of omission. However, it needs
evaluation if it is a result of commission. Breach of omission can be handled with
compassion and forgiveness. Whereas the breach of commission says, "You cheat me
once, shame on you. You cheat me twice, shame on me."
Either way, for one's own self-interest the answer is forgiveness. As they say, "The
wounds get healed but the scars remain." Commitments can rarely be kept without
forgiveness. For example, a child may betray his parents' trust by lying or cheating.
People avoid making commitments because many times they are living for today.

WHAT IS OUR GREATEST COMMITMENT?

What if we made a commitment that is wrong or unethical inadvertently which totally goes
against our values and conscience?
That is the time to reevaluate whether or not to go forward.

COMMITMENT TO VALUES

Loyalties cannot be bought, they are earned. And to whom do we owe loyalties? Is it
individuals or organizations? The answer is none of them. We owe loyalties to values.
Where the value system is conflicting, people cannot live in the same home, they cannot
work in the same organization.
When a person makes a commitment of loyalty to either an individual or an organization,
what is he really saying? He is saying, "I stand by you because I believe in what you
believe in."
What if the person I am committed to, be it a leader, spouse, employer, employee
becomes a spy for an enemy country? Do I continue my support because I committed
earlier? Absolutely not. I am not committed to support unethical and illegal behavior.
Unkept commitments lead to:
♦ Broken homes
♦ Abandoned children
♦ Poor relationships
♦ High stress levels

165 of 177