Page 158 - Wir61

astronavigation is a simple procedure in inductive logic. If Napoleon’s army could
march around on its 1790-model stomach which was round in shape (probably
due to a diet of potatoes and onions) the curvature of its peregrinations (as
exemplified by the retreat from Moscow) was almost certainly due to a reflex
mechanism derived from the shape of food units. Thus a square stomach induced
by the absorption of square food-units prognosticates in its possessor marked
ihtra-sensory perceptual facility at astro-navigation in a square orbit. — Q.E.D. j
NOT IN THE TEXT-BOOKS - -
Examinations at W.H.I.S. occasionally reveal some facts not previously known
to science :—
• A dam across the Mediterranean gives water for irrigation of stock.
• The stable dish of the U.S. negro cotton-pickers is pig's' pork.'
• The Brisbane River after passing the Abbot Wars empties into Mortein Bay.
• Being lit up, the people enjoyed the shop windows.
• Some youths go to work to help support the family or put it in a bank
account for future education.
• Briefly an elephant is driven by its ears sitting on its neck.
• We returned home tired and hungry, and cleaned and skinned the
rabbits over a nice hot cup of tea.
• Hindus bath in the Ganges and it deposits silt in the Sundabans.
• From the sands of the Gold Coast they extract vitamin for use in jet
engines.
• As a result of the Industrial Revolution the rich people had cesspools
in the middle of their houses but the poor people had practically no
sanity at all.
A JUNIOR IF - -
(with apologies from Rudyard Kipling)
If you can move from “State” to pass these portals.
To gaze with awe, and pride, of task achieved
And take your place, with all the minor mortals,
To start again and hope you may succeed;
If you can tackle tasks, as tough as Latin. .
Or battle on, with subjects quite obscure
And, when you’re beaten, just stay in there batting,
To make the most of time, when you’re unsure;
If you can keep your head, when those who teach you,
Are pounding it with club till black and blue,
And yet make sure, that their instructions reach you,
Even though you can’t absorb a clue;
If you can bear to see the page you’ve written,
Slashed by the red and criticised to boot,
And keep a tongue, between your teeth, well bitten,
Whilst you correct the phrase, or find the root:
If you can associate with seniors,
Or talk with those who don’t attain that fame,
And be thought well of. by the teachers,
Yet not fall foul of any, just the same;
And yet, when at the close of school years,
You sit with those, who take the Junior test,
You may succeed, despite your trembling fears, j
Or least of all, you’ll know, you did your best.
: — J. Hutchinson (4A1)
75