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TEACHINGS | EASTERN HORIZON 37

they ask; “Coca-Cola is more rebirth in samsara, by abandoning try to help and share with each
refreshing than God or the Bible.” desire. Craving is what makes the other. I think that’s beautiful; such
This is their problem. What to do? wheel of life go round and it’s our couples are also a good example to
I’m joking! own clinging that binds us to it; others.
nobody else makes us cycle from
The next day: one suffering life to another. Many of my married students

Thousands of people the world over were experiencing unbelievable
get married every day out of craving The twentieth century example suffering and conflict when I met
for sexual pleasure. Others get of this is those ladies and them. All I could do was to try to
married principally for reputation: gentlemen who get married, help them be happy and have as
“He’s world famous; he’s great.” Still experience problems, grasp at good a relationship as possible.
others marry for wealth or power. another person, then at another, But, sometimes the circumstances
Those are all wrong motivations for and another…maybe they cycle are against it. Basically, both
marriage. The purpose of marriage through four or five marriages people are unhappy; they have
should be to avoid extremes and in a single lifetime. Some people much conflict and many problems
gain balance in your life. However, have hundreds of lovers in their within their marriage. I think this
it often turns out the complete life. Why can’t they stop? Why do is common. It’s not just confined to
opposite. they keep on grasping? There’s my students. Many Western people
nobody driving them to do this; experience this. I think the grasping,
These days, perhaps as many they drive themselves. They hang sexual relationship is one of the
people get divorced as get married. on continuously; non-stop. Desire greatest problems Western people
Don’t think divorce is easy. is fickle in nature. Freud tried to face, whether they are religious
Psychologically, divorce can be explain sex as the basis of most practitioners or not.
hell. It’s not a simple as “OK, bye- human problems. Buddhism
bye,” and it’s over. It’s not like that. disagrees. The main human However, some people understand
First there’s a huge build-up of problem lies much deeper than that. each other and try to live with
psychological pressure and when it loving kindness, but that’s really
releases it’s like falling into hell. So, At a course on mind and mental up to the individual. Some people
sentient beings are suffering like factors, Istituto Lama Tsongkhapa, can lead a beautiful married life;
this. Italy, 1978 others can’t. It really depends on the
individual’s needs at the time.
We criticize modern society for Question: Some people take From an interview with a Catholic
such ills, but it’s not society’s teachings and then decide to live theologian, Kopan Monastery, Nepal,
fault. There’s nothing wrong with on the world and practice Dharma 1977
society—it’s our mental attitude without becoming a monk or nun.
that’s mistaken. We create all kinds Is it easy to integrate worldly Question: Lama, many people have
of fantasies, grasp at sense pleasure responsibilities with spiritual problems with their marriage. Do
and everything finishes in disaster. practice? you have anything to say about this?
Lama: Do I have anything to
Buddhism explains that we circle Lama: That, too, depends on the say? Yes! They don’t understand
from one life to another because individual. For some people it’s each other. They lack good
of craving desire and that we can beautiful experience. They get communication. That creates
put an end to cyclic existence, to married, the marriage is good, they many problems. Many people,