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34 EASTERN HORIZON | TEACHINGS
HAPPY MARRIAGES
FROM THE BUDDHA’S
PERSPECTIVE
By Raymond Lam
Raymond Lam is Senior Writer
at Buddhist Door Global (www.
buddhistdoor.net ) in Hong Kong.
Last year in Hong Kong, several Of course, let us not ignore the
He holds a M.A. in Religions venerables and other monks elephant in the room: marriages
(Buddhist Studies) from School of gathered together to marry the are not guarantors of happiness.
Oriental and African Studies, M.A daughter of a Buddhist and her new In fact, I’ll go even further: people
in Christianity and Inter-religious husband. A joyous milestone indeed, underestimate how free and
Studies from Heythrop College, but Buddhist love remains, at its meaningful the single life can
both from the University of core, very realistic. According to be. Buddhists should know this
London, and a B.A. in Philosophy the traditional account of marriage, better than most - our role models
and Religious Studies from union is not really holy (in fact, - monastics - somewhat tend
the University of Queensland, it is nothing more than a mutual to be single. So let’s not pay lip
Australia. promise of commitment, much like service to their commitment to the
secular marriage). Buddhism also Dharma while denying ourselves
allows for all kinds of marriages the possibility that the single life
depending on the culture – this is an is often a highly productive (and
undeniable historical phenomenon. sometimes preferable) one. Then
In our globalized, largely secular perhaps we can appreciate marriage
age, monogamy is the acceptable in a more realistic and effective way
contract of love, and that is how the - it is a way of life that needs work,
Buddha rolls with his ten points of not a one way street to bliss in the
guidance for husbands and wives fairytale’s sunset.
(five for each).
